Bittersweet

• When I'm sick,

When I'm sick, I do myself a breakfast in bed. If I waited for anyone else to do it for me, I'd probably starve to death.

Somedays I don't mind my loneliness. I don't mind my empty bed, my cold pillow, rough hands, messy space. Somedays I do.

Somedays I don't see the point in sleeping if I'm not being held.

And this-

this is for when the wind breaks and the windows shatter and the sun - the sun doesn't set, it falls. For when legs feel like rocks and there are still too many miles to walk alone.

How should you do it? How should you walk barefoot above needles without bleeding?

How should you get old without getting lonely? There's a sea of me and only me inside my heart and somedays I don't feel like swimming. I swallow the water and let the fishes swim inside my body instead.

oh,

For once the hole would be filled. It would be full. So full it could eat me whole from the inside out. I'd die there, I'd rotten without having any flowers to replace my flesh but maybe,

maybe no one would ever water my flowers so what's the point in getting buried instead of drowned?

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I can not tell you guys how thankful I am for all the votes and comments! If I could, I'd hug every single one of you guys.

but like,

long tight hugs ok?

Thank you so, so much.

-Jex