Bittersweet

• from the other side of the moon

Little darling, a dark shadow took your place in this heart and its breath is not warm like yours,

Its hands are not as soft and its hair feels more like snakes and less like cotton.

From the other side of the moon, it whispers in my ear all the things you never had the courage to, like

Like

I'm leaving,

Or

Don't wait for me this time

Or

I'm sorry I was so inconsistent honestly I was busy loving a new person whose ring doesn't match mine.

From the other side of the moon,

I learned all the reasons why angels lie but demons don't

I laid wide awake in a half-empty bed when its fingers walked down my throat

And if the dead cats by the side of road ever gained voices I think it would be his,

The bed, he said

The bed is more half full if you think about it.

The bed, whose sheets now smell like me and like me only, is not as empty as I thought it would be.

It's easier to sleep diagonally than to hold a pillow that once belonged to someone with God's face and Satan's thoughts.

They say nothing good ever comes easy

Is that why he fell in love with me in a day?

If demons gave advice wouldn't they tell me not to trust any of this effortless love?

Because love,

The shadow tells me while braiding my hair,

Love is not supposed to be easy.

Love is not supposed to feel like autumn nights.

For suns and days, I hoped to see his car somewhere,

Every time I entered the bar to find out he wasn't there my ribs would shatter and I would stir them into a fine paste

Which tasted a lot like blood.

And yet my heart feels less bruised now.

////

Guys, ok. i know. i was gone for a long time. to me it felt like 5 minutes tho.

i really love you and if youre still here to read this bs thank you so much, i just needed a time to think so ofc, because im savage, i spent 30 days in a beach all by myself.

therefore,

yes, i have A LOT of new poems.