Bittersweet

• Small Hands

My name lays in the corner like the unwanted child. When all names are made of gold, mine sounds as cold as silver. 

Do I look dull in your eyes? Do I look tense, rigid as a dead body?

You used to make my name sound like the moon, so when did you forget it?

Your name, to me, sounded like flames but now I remember it as ashes. Ashes in my mouth that I swallow only to turn those insects into dark dust.

I hope you end up finding my name somewhere inside a moving box or under your bed. I hope you remember it as something shiny and hold it for enough time for you to gain the courage to say it.

call it.

scream it, maybe.

I've been trying to know God's name. He's the boy in the corner that always looks away when I smile back at him. The boy with small hands and a big heart.  He cannot hold people in his palms so, therefore, he keeps them inside his chest. Of course, I don't live there, because I haven't met him yet, but that's how I imagine him.

After all, god is a product of our imagination an no bible can make me see him as a wise man. God is a representation of our kind, and who is really wise enough not to make any mistakes?

Maybe God has my name, or yours, or anyone else's. Maybe god as no name but a red face. Or small hands. or no hands at all. No hands to hold me and no hands to hold you. Maybe we either hold ourselves or each other, but tell me, who will hold god?

Could you? Could you spread your fingers along his back and let your breath fall into his neck like rain on a wintery day? You have a long body for someone with such a small heart.

Maybe God really could be a saviour but don't forget he's just a boy in the corner of this library.

As dawn follows the day, maybe you could. And maybe your heart could grow bigger, tender.

Who will hold god if not you? After all, I also do, have such small hands.

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By no means, I want to disrespect any religious readers! This is something I wrote from my point of view and if you do believe in god, please feel free to create your own perspective about this. 

Thank you so much for reading and if you do have small hands too,

remember it is a beautiful thing to carry people inside our hearts.

<3

ALSO!!! I have too many messages in my inbox from people asking me to read their poetry and thank you so much because it means you want my opinion but sometimes I forget who sent what. So, if you would like me to check your book out, please COMMENT THIS CHAPTER with the name of the story, andddd you got it right?

Love you all