The Ferris Wheel [hiatus]

|Feeling Extremely Powerless|

❝ It's crazy how someone who used to a huge part of your life can be gone in one second.❞

|Feeling Extremely Powerless|

Ace

            They say, you don't know what you have until you lose it.

         When, in fact, you knew exactly what you had, you just thought you'll never lose it.

            I could say my life was made by this saying.

~

          

          When I was twelve, I had buddies, and we were like other guys, walking down roads like we were kings, howling in the streets, saying sex jokes when we saw girls passing by. For a reason I've never knew, or more, I've tried to deny, one by one, they went away. At this time, I was only fourteen.

            Luckily, I've got one friend with me, Samuel. But then, one day, he left, too.

            “Bro, I've got to tell you something.” I can recall the way he said it; as if he was about to cry.

            I was beside him, a can of coke in my hand, my eyes focused on the TV, zapping channels with the remote.

            “Man, if it's 'cause another chick dumped you, it's okay. There's always others.” I tried to comfort him, even thought I was saying things I didn't believe. I didn't thought there was other girls if one dumped you, because you two had mutual love, and there will never be another love like hers. It was precious.

            I swallowed, hoping he won't see the truth trough my lies.

            “It's not that,” Sam said, but this time with more force, which was what made myself to look at him.

            He looked exhausted. He wasn't like the friend I've known, always making jokes, playful and always hitting others, to then run away, screaming like a fool.

           

            “Dude, you can trust me...” I trailed off, not knowing really what to say besides this.

            Even in the darkened room of Sam's house, I could see the question in his eyes; can I?

            I glanced away, raking my hand in my hair and staring at my half drank coke. I couldn't answer for him, because at the same time, we suffered at the same time at the same loss of friends. Sam and I had never been close, it was the separation of our gang that made us stick together.

            Those friends, a few weeks after, bullied us separately, saying that we looked gay because we hanged up together. I didn't protest; I was too shocked by their behavior to do this. Two years after, the bullying stopped, but our former friends never told their apologies. I never expected them to apologize, though; their ego was too high.

            I was halfway of moving on, since all of this was already a year before. But for Sam, he seemed like a though guy outside, but he was always locked in his own world, because of family problems, and the friendship ones that added up.