The Ferris Wheel [hiatus]

|You're Never Alone|

"You see, there's that loneliness that just eats us all alive."

|You’re Never Alone|

Sapphire

        Holding in my hand a steaming cup of coffee, I walked back at the monitor control room, waiting for the end of my co-worker’s shift. As my eyes stare at the pole where I wrote a faint word, I wondered why I did it. Was it just only because of Alex? Or was it something in me pushed me to write it?

        I snapped out from my trance when Leah came beside me and patted my shoulder, making me do a little jump.

        “Whoa, sorry,” she apologized, with a laughter.

        I raised an eyebrow at her, and she took the cue to stop fooling around. “What?” I asked, more harshly than I thought.

        “Just waiting to work,” she explained, shrugging and brushing her hair off her forehead.

        This is a first, Leah being punctual at work. Usually, she would be late for ten to twenty minutes, and would arrive like an absolute mess; morning hair, cloudy face, not having her uniform on (or even forgetting it). Once, she even forgot to wear a bra, and was forced to return at her house to tidy up herself before coming back to work.

        Seeing that she was looking at me, expecting for an answer, I blurted out, “Well, this is a first.” Immediately after saying it, I regretted it.

        To my surprise, she laughed loudly, bending her back and not holding in. After she regained control and seeing my emotionless lost face, she started laughing again.

        “Whoa, is it really Sapphire speaking?”

        “What’s so funny?” I asked again, rudely.

        “Never heard you say a comeback or even answer to someone,” she explained herself, a smile playing on her face.

        Her words hit me in the face, as if someone dumped a bottle of cold water on my head. It’s true, I never did, and it’s weird to hear her say it. Hours before, I was still gloomy and was about to arrange pencils by size and alphabetical order, and now I’m here, actually having a conversation with someone? It’s wrong. Another question popped in my head. Since when did I think this much? Usually, I would only think about Alex, about how my life is dull, asking myself about the whys to my life.

        It was, as if, by writing a little “Hi” on this insignificant pole, I’ve let out everything, all the weight I had on the heart. Which is not the case. Only a small, just a little percent – not even a full number – has been lifted out from my shoulders.

        I gave a sly smile to Leah. “Yeah, we could say so.”

        She looked at me, taken by surprise, then I glance at my watch, and walk to the monitor control. Time to work.

~

        A new bunch of clients was riding the London Eye and tasting the magnificent afternoon view it was offering. The sun was setting down, dashes of pink, blue and orange blazed up in the sky, like splashed of paints on a white paper. I could see some teens, standing close to the river, looking at the scenery in awe.