THE MERC OF THE SQUAD

Prologue

~DEADPOOL'S POV~

[Uptown Funk playing]

Sixteen weeks. That's how long it's been since Wade saw the sunlight outside: sixteen weeks. He vowed that if he ever got out he'd go to the beach first. He was pretty sure he needed a tan anyway from all the cold, dim, lifelessness Belle Reve had to offer.  It wasn't like an Japanese hotel with weird but sexy themed room (a certain superhero *cough*Wolverine*cough* already got that luxury). All he got was a dusty old padded cell while being strapped to a hand truck.

The place got boring on the 3rd week, so Wade took up the habit of singing. He would sing all sorts of songs from time to time. His sang all sorts of stuff: Adele, Christmas carols, commercial jingles, and even made raps of his own. But his favorite was this new hit song called Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

"This hit that ice cold Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold. This one for them hood girls, them good girls - straight masterpieces!" Wade Wilson stood in his cell and sang his heart out. Unfortunately, this place also had a policy against "prisoner annoyances", so singing usually lead to punishment. But Wade was so bored he didn't care, not to mention he was in the groove.

"I'm too hot! Hot damn." 

Some guards groaned. "Would someone shut him up!?" One said. He understood why they hated the song so much. Wade sang it when he got dangerously bored... he sang it a LOT.

"Make a dragon wanna retire, man. I'm too hot! Hot damn." Wade snapped his fingers to the rhythm. Just as he was about to complete the first verse when Griggs and his men walked into his cell. Wade looked at each one of them, then went back to singing. "And my band 'bout that money. Break it down...!"

"Are you done?" Griggs asked in an annoyed tone.

"Mmm." Wade pursed his lips in thought. "For now. Anyway, where are my manners? Can I help you gentlemen to something? Maybe some tea or lemonade to go?"

"Very funny, Wilson. But this isn't a game. This is the fifth time one of your guards came to me complaining about the noise."

"Well, I gotta practice my karaoke for when I get outta here."

Griggs chuckled, showing off his gapped yellow teeth. "You ain't gettin' outta here, Wilson. You might as well sing your own funeral song."

"If you insist..." Suddenly Wade started singing 'Sweet Chariot', and almost on cue the guards started groaning and whining and begging to make it stop.

"QUIET!" Griggs turned his head shouted over their sad sorrowing. His head spun back to Wade, who wore a mocking smile on his face. "You, too. Or else."

"Oooh!" Wade said before making his voice babyish and squeaky. "Sounds like Little Junior's not making nice with his play toys. Poor Little baby Junior!"

"Last chance, prisoner!" Griggs raised his voice, putting his hands on his belt.

Wade titled his head at the two men standing on the sides of Griggs. "Do you guys wonder if he asks this serious in bed with his wife? Or with other women?" Wade could tell that made Griggs nervous, because the other guards didn't know about his intimate life outside Belle Reve. 

Griggs gave him a cold stare with a side of serious face. When he smiled, Wade started tracing his tongue up and down his cheek. Griggs just shook his head and mumbled, "Oh, you're gotta learn to shut your mouth."

"Hold his head." At that moment, the two men lounged at his face. With much force, they pushed his head to the back of the hand truck and lowered his chin. Wade watched as Griggs took a rag out his uniform shirt and brought it to his mouth. 

Wade tried to fight what was about to happen. But the men had good grips on him, and he couldn't move any other part of his body. He tried to maneuver his head away from Griggs, but then Griggs held his neck.

"Oh, I wish I had my sword. I'd cut off your di--" Griggs spared him no time to finish and aggressively shoved the piece of dirty cloth in his mouth. How far back did it go? Halfway down his throat. It felt like a gag of vomit got stuck in his throat. If that wasn't bad enough, they put tape on his mouth.

[Uptown Funk ends]

~NARRATOR'S POV~

 Meanwhile, the security camera was picking up all this. Including, an unconscious Harley Quinn, a peaceful El Diablo, and injured Deadshot.