Stepbrother

31: Lunch

My arms wrap tightly around my mom, tears staining my cheeks as I press my face against her shoulder, a wet patch forming on the beautiful sundress she's currently wearing. So many things has happened in the months I hadn't seen her, and I only realize now that I need my mom in my life, especially now, with what has happened between me and Jordan.

Wait, no. That's right, she can't know about him. What would she think of me?

"My little girl," my mom weeps into my ear. "I've missed you, and seeing how beautiful you are makes me really happy." Her hug tightens on me, restricting any type of air flow in my body.

"Mom," I wheeze. "It's only been a few months, and — Mom," I say, pushing her chest lightly, and my mom lets go, letting out a small chuckle.

"Right, sorry. I guess I am a little too dramatic," she tells me, wiping her cheeks. "Sorry for suffocating you."

Jordan clears his throat, bringing our attention to him. We glance at him, seated at the table while playing with his fork. He's looking down at the table, hoping to not feel as awkward as he already does.

"And Jordan," my mom says sweetly, walking towards the table. She takes a seat at one of the sides of the square-shaped table. "You look well. So much better," she tells him a soft tone, and she places a hand on his upper arm, giving him a small smile. I'm aware that she's referring to the death of Jordan's mom, but she has no idea I know.

Jordan only nods his head, continuing to play with his fork, and I follow my mom, taking a seat across from her. My mom lets go of his arm, silently looking down at the menu in front of her. The awkward silence that had just appeared is killing me. As I was about to speak up, our waitress arrives, breaking the sudden silence lingering at our table. Thank God, I thought.

"Can I get your drinks?" the waitress says to us, a kind smile placed on her lips.

"Sweet tea," my mom says, forcing a smile.

"Water," Jordan mutters from his seat.

"Coffee," I say. I'm feeling exhausted right now, and the only thing that could make me feel better right this moment is a warm cup of coffee.

The waitress leave, and the silence comes back. The only time we talk again is when the waitress comes back with our food, and my mom makes a comment on how delicious her pasta looks.

"I'll use the restroom," Jordan informs us, before standing up from his seat and walking away. I watch him go, my mind flashing back to the airplane, when I held his hand. Then, I start to remember the conversation Jordan and I had about our parents getting married. I told him it felt wrong.

A pang of pain hits my chest.

"So," my mom begins, and I turn to look at her. "Are you getting along with Jordan?"

I shrug. "He's nice."

My mom rolls her eyes. "This is the most awkward lunch I've ever had, Maya. Do you not want him to be your brother? He's been through a lot, but..."

I sigh, shaking my head. I was about to lift my cup of coffee up to my lips, but my hand was wavering. He means everything to me, I want to say. I can't say that, though. He's supposed to be my brother, someone to take care of me in a brotherly way, but I've never known him to be that way.

"Look, Mom, I know about Jordan's mom, and I know why Darren left her," I say instead, avoiding her question. My mom's eyes widen a little, but she doesn't say anything. "I'm aware that Jordan has been through a lot. I found this out recently, but I'm trying my best to—"

"He's coming back," my mom warns me, pressing her lips together and looking back down at her food. "We shouldn't be talking about this."

Jordan takes his seat again, eating the panini he had ordered from our waitress. I ended up being the only one not finishing my food, and I asked the waitress for a to-go box, hoping that I would just eat it in my hotel room. When Jordan and my mom finish their food, we all stand up, getting ready to leave.

As Jordan starts to walk away, he realizes that I'm not following him. He turns to look at me. "Are you coming?" he asks, and and I shake my head.

"I think I'm gong to talk to my mom," I explain to him, and he walks away without saying a word.

After Jordan leaves the restaurant, my mom and I leave too, making our way to the hotel's pool. The both of us lounge at the poolside, seated in chairs below a large umbrella.

"Did Jordan tell you all of this? About his mom, I mean. Or was it Fiona?" my mom says as soon as we take our seats.

I didn't even realize my mom knew about Fiona. "You know her? Fiona, I mean."

"No, not really," she says, not meeting my gaze. She's looking out at the pool, the wind blowing her dark brown hair in her face. "All I know is that she was great friends with Laura. That's his mom's name. Fiona said she'd do anything for Laura, and when she discovered that Darren and I were moving to California, she vowed to watch over Jordan for us."

Does she know that Fiona and Jordan's mom, I mean Laura, loved each other? I can't tell.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Huh?" I say, and my mom looks at me. "Oh, right. Jordan's mom wrote a letter, or some type of suicide note, I guess. He let me read it."

My mom runs a hand through her hair, a saddened look on her face. "When I first met Darren, he was heartbroken from his divorce. His own son hated him, and he knew he could never see him again. When Laura killed herself, Darren had only gotten worse, especially when Jordan refused to talk to him. Jordan didn't know his mom had cheated."

"Why didn't Darren do something about it?"

A tear slips down my mom's cheek, and she wipes it away with her fingers. "Darren didn't want Jordan to hate his own mom. Even though Laura didn't love Darren anymore, he knew that she still loved Jordan. Very much."

"Do you know who Laura had an affair with?" I ask hesitantly.

My mom looks at me again, her eyebrows furrowed. "No, actually. I asked Darren, but he wouldn't say. He said it was some guy she worked with, but I could tell he was lying." My mom stares at me for a few seconds, studying my facial expression. "Why? Do you know?"

I look down at my lap. "No," I lie.

My mom stands up, wiping her eyes once more before grinning at me. "Well, I should probably go. You need to rest. You flew all across the country, after all," she says with a laugh.

I stand up too, nodding. "Okay. I'm just glad to see you." I hug her once again, pulling my mom into my arms, then I let her go. "Bye."

My mom steps back, kissing me on the cheek before walking away by the side of the pool. The wind blows harder, and I wrap my arms around myself. San Diego during the winter gets pretty chilly, and a chill runs down my back as I'm about to leave, until I remember something.

My dad.

"Mom!" I yell out without thinking, running after her, and she turns her head, giving me a worried look.

"What is it?"

"Dad," I say when I catch up to her. "He came to Darren's house. He saw me and Jordan." My vision blurs.

My mom's lips part, her eyes widening. "H-He did?"