The Arrogant Player

Part 32

His eyebrows knit in confusion, "Leave?? Why??"

"I've stayed too long already...I don't need to be here..." you said, turning and walking away from him.

You walked to his room and turned on the light and began gathering your things.

"(y/n)?? What the heck- you don't have to go!!" Sebastian had followed you to the room.

"B-but i don't need to be here..." you stammered, your back to him as you began packing up your belongings.

"And what evoked this sudden decision? A dumb kiss?" he asked.

"You're right. The kiss was dumb. Shouldn't have happened," you replied.

"So you're saying that even though you LITERALLY just confessed your feelings to me, kissing you was inappropriate?" he asked, and you turned to face him while folding one of your shirts.

"That is exactly what I'm saying. And who even said that the feelings were still there?? Plus- whoever said I wanted to be kissed anyway??" you asked, your hands on your hips.

"I'm pretty sure when anyone has feelings for someone, they at least imagine kissing that person and definitely wouldn't have a problem if that person kissed them...."

but you interrupted him, "So you're stereotyping me now, Sebastian?"

Sebastian threw his hands up in exasperation, "I LITERALLY DO NOT GET YOU, (y/n)!!"

"What's not to get??" you replied, narrowing your eyes.

"ONE SECOND YOURE CONFESSING YOUR FEELINGS AND KISSING ME BACK AND THEN THE NEXT YOURE SHOVING ME AWAY AND PRETENDING THAT NEVER HAPPENED?? AND NOW YOURE LEAVING??" he shouted.

You stopped packing your things again, looking right at him, "I already told you. I've been here long enough."

"So you're literally going to leave in the middle of the night??" he shouted.

"Yes. That should make you happy. Now you can go ahead and sleep on the bed I've been hogging."

You were done grabbing all your things, "Please let me know if i forgot anything."

"If you forgot anything, you're not getting it back," Sebastian growled.

"Fine. Be that way," you replied.

You were carrying your stuff out the door and were surprised when you got out of it without him blocking you.

But he followed you out and down the stairs.

"Is this what you always do?? Push people away when you have feelings for them?? Or do you not have feelings for me??" Seb shouted after you.

You had gotten down the stairs already and stopped and turned around.

"I-" you began, but you couldn't continue.

"Tell me you don't have feelings for me and I'll let you leave without another word. Tell me that kiss was meaningless," Sebastian said, his voice softening as he walked towards you.

You thought over the words.

You said them in your head over and over and over again, ready to speak them when you opened your mouth.

But when you opened your mouth, the words didn't come.

Because they weren't true.

And you weren't letting yourself lie.

"I- I cant..." you stammered.

"Then stay," Sebastian said softly, stepping forward and touching your face gently.

"I- I cant... this is too overwhelming... I have to go, Sebastian. Please respect that."

And with that you were stepping away from his touch, stepping from his warmth. You were turning and leaving.

He didn't follow you this time.

But before you opened the door, you heard him say softly behind you, "When you're ready, i'll be here waiting for you."

You shoved those words aside, not letting your brain dwell on them. You went out the front door and as soon as you were outside, you were sprinting.

Sprinting to your car before you could change your mind and run back to his arms.

You got to your car, your head spinning.

You unlocked the backdoor and opened it up, placing all your stuff in the back.

You slammed the door shut and got into the front seat, starting the car and speeding out of his driveway and back to your house.

As soon as you got home, you grabbed your stuff and brought them all inside. Your house was so quiet and empty- it was like a cemetery and considering that it was like 3am you were creeped out. But you just dropped your things and ran up to your room- a place you hadn't been in forever. You closed the door behind you and locked it, even though you lived by yourself, and ran to your bed and jumped on it.

It was just as comfortable as you remembered.

You wrapped yourself underneath the covers, snuggling up in your soft blankets and shutting your eyes.

You didn't know why you had told seb the truth.

Now you had ruined everything.

Because now it was real.

And now you could be with Seb...and even though it felt right, and kissing him was so amazing, your brain couldn't help but linger on your horrible, crazy, messed up past.

Every time you had feelings for someone, you ended up getting hurt. You had been cheated on countless times, told that you weren't good enough anymore even though you hadn't even changed- he had.

You had been lied to and stabbed in the back. And now even recently, your best boyfriend yet had DIED in a CAR ACCIDENT in a car that YOU had been driving.

All of the times you had had feelings for someone had ended miserably.

And you couldn't let yourself go through that again...even though you were pushing away a guy that just might be perfect for you...

•••

That night, you had horrible nightmares about Chris and all your past tragedies.

Except this time, when you woke up, sobbing and shaking, Sebastian wasn't there to wrap his arms around you and comfort you.

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