The Arrogant Player

Part 31

It the was as if your words dried up.

You stared at Sebastian, unable to speak.

How were you supposed to tell him??

What would he do?

Would he be mad you had kept it from him for so long...?

You opened your mouth to speak but still no words were coming and you closed your mouth and swallowed hard. Your heart was racing as you grew lost in his eyes. But he wasn't staring at your eyes. He was staring at your lips, you realized. And then he was leaning in, and for a moment you felt yourself leaning in too, wanting to kiss him, wanting to feel his lips on yours for the first time in forever.

The first time not on screen.

But then, your thoughts screamed, "BUT CHRIS IS DEAD. HE IS DEAD."

It was as if they were being chanted in your mind and you jerked back away from Sebastian.

"What are you doing??" you asked.

He knit his eyebrows, "I'm sorry...I must've read the situation wrong..."

He awkwardly looked to the floor.

"What is this, Sebastian? Why have I been staying at your house?" you asked.

"Because I offered and you chose to..." he replied.

You got off the couch, "But why'd you even offer in the first place??"

He looked up at you with concerned eyes, "Because you obviously needed help and I care about you, (y/n)..."

"But why?? Why am i still here, Sebastian?? It's been months. Shouldn't I be over him?? Shouldn't I be over Chris? Why does he still haunt me?? Why do i have to shove away any chance of happiness because whenever i feel happy, it's like all of a sudden that it's wrong. Chris is dead and I shouldn't be happy..."

"You said it yourself that Chris would WANT you to be happy! He would WANT you to move on!" Sebastian replied, standing to his feet as well.

"But what if i can never move on??" you yelled, and then the words spilled out of your mouth, "C-Chris told me something before he died..."

Sebastian suddenly looked so interested, "What did he say??"

You looked to the floor, afraid to speak.

He stepped closer to you and suddenly his fibers were touching your chin and tilting it up to look at you.

He was so tender...but you quickly jerked back, "Please don't touch me."

He looked surprised and a little confused but he just asked, "What did Chris say before he died?"

You looked to the ground as tears began to form in your eyes. It was suddenly as if you were reliving the experience of him dying in your arms.

You finally looked up at Sebastian, swallowing hard before blurting, "He said that he knew I had feelings for you even when I was with him. He didn't seem angry or upset, just very sad. H-he said that I wanted you and that w-we deserved to be together..."

Your heart was pounding so fast, and Sebastian looked speechless.

"It's just I don't even know what to think...it's as if ever time I try to be happy i remember Chris and tell myself i shouldn't be happy, even if it was what Chris wanted...He hardly lived a life- why did he have to die so young?? Why did it have to be my fault?? It's been MONTHS. Shouldn't i be better, Sebastian?? Shouldn't I be able to move on?? Why can't I move on?? Everyone always says time fixes everything but it sure doesn't seem like time is going to fix this situation!! I mean, I don't even know what to do... I feel so lost and helpless sometimes it's so overwhelming...The only thing that's equally overwhelming is my feelings..."

You weren't able to continue.

Because Sebastian had interrupted you.

With his mouth.

On yours.

And it was electrifying.

His lips were just the way that you remembered.

His arms had wrapped around you, pulling your body to his.

And you were happily kissing him back for a second before suddenly being overwhelmed with everything that was going on.

You pulled away from the kiss, panic filling you up, "I think I should leave..."

706 words