What Comes Next

Chapter 17: Leo

Chapter 17: Leo

Every part of me wanted to explain to Antoinelle what my relationship with Amber meant, but I honestly wasn't sure myself. And bringing up Amber meant talking more about Sam's death and I can't even forgive myself for that so how could I expect her to?

Needing a distraction I open the folder. The one and only file folder that has been sitting on my desk, untouched, for more than a week. I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking for, I just need something, anything that could prove to the insurance company my parents' death was not  their fault.

I look at the crime scene photos, the police reports, every last word and image. Watching the survellaince video I drop my popcorn to side, spilling pieces in the process, and fumble for the remote, pausing it as quickly as possible. Moving closer I see the car stop at what I can assume to be a red light, two pedestrians are just about to step out of sight. Pressing play it's only a matter of seconds before my parents' car drives out of shot before sliding back into view, the windsheild shattered and two lifeless bodies in the front. I immediately switch off the TV. For all of my wating I was not prepared for that. I skim over the list of everyone involved with what has been deemed an open-shut case by practically everyone, except me.

By now I've reached the M's. I dog-ear the page and take a shower before going to bed. Walking out of the bathroom I almost drop my towel, and thank goodness I didn't, because Antoinelle was standing right there. "What are you doing here?" I say both confused and embarrassed. "I don't know, I was driving home but I just got scared that-" "I was cheating on you." I complete for her. Her face flushes with guilt and shame. "Leonardo, I'm sorry. It's just that with the mention of another girl and the fact that you won't tell me anything I just...I just don't won't to be hurt again."

Snatching my clothes off the bed I return to the bathroom, closing the door behind me a little to hard. Fully dressed, I emerge from the bathroom, relieved to see that Antoinelle is still there, only now she's crying on my bed. "I'm really sorry," she starts again. "It's okay, just come with me." I can tell she's dying to apologize, but she doesn't need to and I don't want to hear it.

She gets into the car and I turn on the heat before getting back out to make a phone call. One silent car ride later I'm dragging her through the BU dormitory. "Leo, where are we going?" "Room 26." "And you know where that is?" she says, sensing that I have no idea where I am. "Not really." I conceed. "Well, there's a sign over there..." She points in the direction of a sign that reads "Dorms 20-30."

I gently push her down the hall before stopping in front of Room 26. I knock on the door, making sure Antoinellie is hidden behind me. The door opens quickly and her eyes widen with surprise. "Leo-" I interrupt her by stepping aside so she can see Antoinelle. "Amber this is Nel. Nel, this is Amber." I look between the two of them, both scared and confused. "Who's up for some group therapy?"

Amber takes us somewhere the three of us could talk, after assuring her roomate I wasn't a serial stalker. "I'll start." I explain to Amber everything currently happening before getting into the less fun portion of tonights surprise conference. Sensing that I was overwhelmed, Amber took over.

"Leo and I were best friends. There was also Sam." Antoinelle perked up at the mention of Sam. "Our parents were all friends, sort of, colleagues might be more accurate when it comes to mine. Anyway, we bonded over a mutual hatred for the business parties our parents used to throw, which as kids just meant playing Mario Brothers in the basement. And then when we were older it became more of a game as to who could sneak away the most alcohol." I laughed harshly and she continued, "We got caught our senior year and our, Leo and my, parents got really mad and basically blamed each other for us being stupid teenagers. After that we weren't allowed to hang out anymore. Except, of course, we did."

"Right. And we did what any normal teenagers would do without adult supervision." I interject.

"Which I always said was a bad idea." She jabbed.

"Well, your definition of a good idea is telling your best friends' parents to send him away so."

"Rehab isn't a death sentence, Leo." At those words I closed my eyes, looking down and counting my breathes. "Anyway," she kept on, "we graduated and started going to college parties where, you can imagine, there's a lot of alcohol. I noticed Sam was acting differently and apparently, he was going to all of these parties. I started getting concerned so I told his parents. He went to rehab and everything was fine for a while, until he started having problems and his parents had to take him to the hospital."

"They said he was suffering from liver failure."

"And naturally I assumed the two of you had been drinking, even after everything he went through."

"Because, naturally, I'm the bad guy, right?"

"That's not what I meant. You two just never took anything seriously."

"Yeah well I take it pretty seriously when you try and tell me I'm the reason my best friend died!"

"He was our best friend! You and I both! Jesus, Leo take some responsibility for once."

Bursting with anger, I stand up from my seat and walk towards the door.

"So, you're just going to leave again?" But this time, it was Antoinelle speaking. Every emotion that had been building up came out in one scathing sweep, "NO. I'm not leaving. I'm just trying to figure out how the person who sent my best friend away can claim I'm the reason he started drinking again, and not, I don't know because his "best friend" betrayed him."

I storm out of the building, standing in the snow, cursing myself for forgetting my jacket inside when Antoinelle joins me. Handing me my jacket she says, "I'm sorry about what happened but, Leonardo, you can't keep running away from this." I stare at her, she chose the wrong words to say. "Running away?" I say in an amused tone. "You pushed to know what was bothering me and intruded into my house. I brought you all the way here and then when you find out my issue, rather than try to understand, you sit there judging me, and take her side. You know what, I'm sorry if I'm being to needy  for you, but you have no right to judge me when you're running away from your own past."

I can tell the last part cut deep by the tears welling in her eyes. She turns away but I grab her arm, "I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean that." She yanks away from my grip, "No, I don't know. And you're both right, maybe I am too needy. Maybe I should get over it. Maybe I need to change. Goodbye Leo." she says, spitting out my name with disgust before disappearing into the night. It really hadn't registered yet, but when she called me Leo, I knew I was no longer her Leonardo and she was no longer my Antoinelle.

**********

I make the majority of this stuff up as I go. Hope it's not too cliche. That would kill me. I hope this isn't too short either.

See ya real soon.

~J

The struggle is real.

~L