Lucid but Indecisive ( A Harry Styles and Luke Hemmings Fan Fiction )

Chapter 16

        When the night finnaly came I was extremely excited. I figured that i'd take this beach date as a way to show Harry I'm his and that i wont fuck up like i did the past two days. I only have two days left with him so i really want to show him the better side of me. I waited in the hotel room already dressed and ready, i don't even take that long to get ready in the first place but i figured it'd be nice to be ready to go whenever Harry arrives. After about 35 minutes Harry came through the hotel doors. It was 12:45 and he looked utterly exauhsted but he managed to look up at me and smile.

"Hello, love."

        I smiled and got up to kiss him then sat back down and watched him fumble around the room changing all of his jewlery and checking his phone, i was so sure he was going to collapse.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Harry, you look like a walking dead man, are you sure you'll be able to go anywhere tonight?"

"As long as i'm with you i'll be fine."

"And as long as i'm with you i'll be fine. Really Harry we could just stay here and you can get some sleep. You need to sleep. I think as long as we're together it'll be fine, really."

He smiled and hugged me and started to mumble into my hair

"You always know what to say."

        We pulled apart and he took me onto the bed into a cuddling position. We didn't say anything because he was too tired to speak. Soon he drifted off and i laid there in his arms. I thought about what i did to Harry and how through all of our (almost) 9 months together neither of us had comprimised our relationship until this past month... and it was me who'd done it.

        I have never cheated on anyone in my entire until now and to think i'd do it to Harry of all people tore at my heart like a caged bear. Tears started to build in my eyes but i didn't cry, they just silently fell. If i did this to Harry now... if i could possibly do that... did i even deserve him? I spun around and looked at him and i couldn't help but smile at how precious and calm he looked. I watched for a while longer then i felt a bit creepy so i turned back around. I started to think, if i cheated on him... was it for a reason? I mean if i've never cheated on him before until now what does that mean? I started to think about Luke and how i felt like a helpless little emotional girl around him... kinda like how i felt with Harry when i'd first met him.

        For a while i thought about what things would be like if i was with Luke, if i spared everyone the trouble and just moved to him. But these thoughts were quickly shaken away by the image of a heart broken Harry popping up somewhere along the way which startled me and almost make me make that heaving noise when you were seven and about to cry. I could never do that to Harry, not after all we've been through. And i loved him. I did... i mean, how couldn't i? right?

___________________________________________________________________________________

I am so sorry for the suuuper long delay... wow so long.. but i never got feedback so i kinda forgot about it and when i recdently downloaded the app again to check it out i realized people actually read this so PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK EVEN IF IT'S JUST A 'I LIKE IT' CAUSE IT HELPS ME WRITE. i have adhd and it's so hard to do things without a little help. (: