(By the end of the song, JEREMY has landed outside play practice with MICHAEL. He hesitates, then decides not to go in.)
JEREMY
I guess evolution's not for everyone.
MICHAEL
You don't have to do this. Of course, I'll mock you forever if you don't.
(JEREMY pumps himself up.)
JEREMY
C-C-C-C'MON, C-C-C-C'MON, GO GO
C-C-C-C'MON, C-C-C-C'MON, GO—
(He enters... and finds CHRISTINE.)
Yo!
CHRISTINE
Yo.
JEREMY
Is this where you meet for the play?
CHRISTINE
Nope. This is where you meet for the swim team. (off Jeremy) I'm joking.
JEREMY
I'm Jeremy! I mean...
(He stands there awkwardly for a beat.)
CHRISTINE
Are you okay?
JEREMY
(Barely verbal) Hnnh
CHRISTINE
You seem nervous.
JEREMY
No, I always (realizes this is dumb but commits to saying it anyway) sweat this much.
CHRISTINE
I get it. You're a virgin. (off JEREMY) First play rehearsal!
JEREMY
(realizes) You think I'm nervous about play rehearsal!
CHRISTINE
Why else would you be shaking? A lot?
JEREMY
Ha ha ha ha ha— Yeah, totally freaked.
CHRISTINE
It's okay. I'm a little jealous actually. You never forget your first. Play rehearsal. Coming here is the highlight...
JEREMY
Of your day?
CHRISTINE
Yeah, right. (Beat, she smiles) Of my life!
"I Love Play Rehearsal"
I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL
BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST
BECAUSE IT IS FUN
I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL
AND I GET DEPRESSED
AS SOON AS IT'S DONE
BUT NOT DEPRESSED AS IN, LIKE, "KILL YOURSELF" DEPRESSED
NO, I'M NOT INTO SELF HARM
DUDE, I SWEAR, HERE, CHECK MY ARM
SEE, I JUST USED THE WORD TO EMPHASIZE A POINT
TO SHOW THE PASSION THAT I'VE GOT
I AM PASSIONATE A LOT
AND I HAVE MAD GIGANTIC FEELINGS
RAD AND FRANTIC FEELINGS
ABOUT MOST EVERYTHING
LIKE GUN CONTROL, LIKE SPRING
LIKE IF I'M LIVING UP TO ALL I'M MEANT TO BE
I ALSO HAVE A TOUCH OF ADD
WHERE WAS I?
I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL
CUZ YOU ARE EQUIPPED
WITH DIRECTIONS AND TEXT
LIFE IS EASY IN REHEARSAL
YOU FOLLOW A SCRIPT
SO YOU KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT
ANYHOO, THE POINT THAT I'M GETTING TO IS
SOMETIMES LIFE CAN'T WORK OUT IN THE WAY
IT WORKS OUT IN THE PLAY
LIKE THE ONLY TIME I GET TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
IS WHEN I'M JULIET OR BLANCHE DUBOIS AND CAN I MENTION
...that was really one of my best roles, did you see that? I was incredibly commanding, I think. It made me feel like there just aren't strong roles for women in theater these days, particularly high school theater, do you find that? Because I totally find that—
AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NARROW DOWN THE MANY REASONS WHY
I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL
I HAPPINESS CRY
WHENEVER IT STARTS
