(The living room. The party is winding down, as RICH moves from guest to guest.)
RICH
You got any Mountain Dew Red?
(JEREMY finds CHRISTINE on the couch, next to a PASSED-OUT PARTY MONSTER.)
CHRISTINE
Hey.
JEREMY
Yo. So where is your date?
CHRISTINE
He's having make-up $3* with Chloe. So, my night's pretty awesome.
JEREMY
Sorry.
CHRISTINE
Don't be. I dumped him.
RICH
It looks like normal Mountain Dew? But red?
JEREMY
You dumped Jake? Why?? Sorry, you don't have to....
CHRISTINE
I'm not Juliet. And, he's kind of a jerk, so...
RICH
SERIOUSLY! WHERE THE /u€k CAN I GET SOME MOUNTAIN DEW RED?
(Beat. CHRISTINE and JEREMY stare at him. Then burst out laughing.)
CHRISTINE
Popular people are meeeeeeessssed uuuup.
JEREMY
Word.
CHRISTINE
I mean, you're one of them.
JEREMY
What? No I'm not.
CHRISTINE
Hello, guy who's been pucking his way through the cast of Midsummer.
JEREMY
I'm not— Pucking?
CHRISTINE
You like that? Just made it up. Boo-yeah. (JEREMY is speechless) What?
JEREMY
It's just... I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now.
CHRISTINE
Say whatever's on your mind.
(Beat. JEREMY thinks hard, opens his mouth...)
JEREMY
(weird noise)
(CHRISTINE stares at him. JEREMY cringes, embarrasssed. Until...)
CHRISTINE
(different weird noise)
JEREMY
(totally different weird noise).
CHRISTINE
(brand spanking new weird noise)
(Suddenly, the PARTY MONSTER freaks them out by making his own weird noise. They laugh and relax.)
CHRISTINE
IT'S KINDA KILLER TO SIT AND CHAT WITH YOU
JEREMY
Really?
CHRISTINE
IT'S TRUE
IT'S PRETTY KILLER TO SIT AND CHAT WITH YOU
JEREMY
IT'S PRETTY KILLER FOR ME TOO
BOTH
WOO HOO
IT'S PRETTY KILLER TO HANG AND TALK WITH YOU
I'M GLAD THAT WE BOTH AGREE
JEREMY
CHRISTINE
CHRISTINE
CHRISTINE, WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
(Pause.)
CHRISTINE
Jeremy, I...can't...
JEREMY
I thought we were friends—
CHRISTINE
We are. But... I don't think I should go out with anyone until I know who I am. I know that's not what you wanted to... I'm sorry.
(CHRISTINE exits. RICH, watching nearby, imitates an exploding bomb.)
RICH
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... CRASH! (beat) Got any Mountain Dew Red?
JEREMY
Okay, this whole no-drinking-while-squipping thing? Would it have killed you to give me a warning? ...Rich?
(Suddenly Rich rises, as if an on-switch in his brain has been flipped.)
RICH
Warning. Warning. Warning.
(Rich exits.)
JEREMY
Okay, that's weird.
(The Squip appears.)
THE SQUIP
Hello Jeremy.
JEREMY
About time!
THE SQUIP
My absence was not ideal. But it was necessary. One moment while I review the data from this evening.
(Beat.)
Oh my.
JEREMY
It's bad, right?
THE SQUIP
We need to get you home.
JEREMY
But—
THE SQUIP
Now.
