(Suddenly, it's morning. JEREMY bolts up in bed. Looks around. Did that really just happen? A beat.)
JEREMY
Hello? (he taps his head) Are you on? Hellooo???
JEREMY'S DAD (off-stage)
Jeremy? Are you talking to yourself?
JEREMY
I... Guess I am. Huh.
(He shrugs...)
(And reaches for his computer.)
JEREMY
C-C-C-C'MON, C-C-C-C'MON, GO—
(He reaches for his computer... and gets a shock.)
JEREMY
Ow!
THE SQUIP
What did we say about m4$7U>84710~?
JEREMY
I was just going to...check my email.
THE SQUIP
You can't lie to me, Jeremy. I'm inside your brain. We're going to devise a system. I tally every time you think about sex, and that's how many push-ups you do. If this morning is an indicative sample, you'll have pecs in no time.
(JEREMY'S DAD enters.)
JEREMY'S DAD
Coming through, private.
THE SQUIP
That's the source of your genetic material?
JEREMY
That's my dad, yeah.
THE SQUIP
We should double those push-ups.
(JEREMY heads out of the house. He's wearing his new Eminem T-shirt. As in the opening scene, we see him on the bus.)
JEREMY
STILL NOT GONNA BE THE COOL GUY
BUT MAYBE NOT SO LEFT OUT
OF ALL THE CHARACTERS AT SCHOOL
I MIGHT BE THE ONE WHO THE STORY'S ABOUT
NOW THAT SOMEONE'S HELPING ME OUT
(JEREMY arrives at school, where he runs into CHLOE, BROOKE, and JENNA. To his surprise, they wave. Dazed, JEREMY turns, and bumps into—)
RICH
Yo, tall-@$$. Where's my money?
JEREMY
(to the SQUIP) Crap, what do I tell Rich?
THE SQUIP
Up up down down left right A.
(RICH experiences a jolt.)
RICH
You got one!
JEREMY
Yeah. Sorry, I meant to go through you but— Don't hit me!
RICH
Jeremy! This is awesome! I mean, I coulda used the money. Things are kinda rough at home, if you know what I'm sayin'...
JEREMY
(prompted by the SQUIP) Yeah...my dad...drinks too?
(He looks at the SQUIP, like: where did that come from? RICH grins.)
RICH
Yo, %u€1n& dads, right?! He usually passes out by nine, you should come over, play X-box. You know with a squip, the only controller you need...is your mind?
(He moves on, but JEREMY hangs back to talk to his SQUIP.)
JEREMY
(to his SQUIP)
What was that about?
THE SQUIP
I synced with his squip. Now his desires are compatible with your own.
JEREMY
And that makes him act like we're friends?
THE SQUIP
What is friendship but a bond between two people? Now you and Rich have a bond. It's just digital.
NOW GET READY TO MORE THAN SURVIVE
KIDS
NA NA NA
NA NA NA
JEREMY
MORE THAN SURVIVE
MORE THAN SURVIVE
ALL AND ALL A NOT TOO HEINOUS DAY
ENSEMBLE
HEY HEY HEY
JEREMY
I WALK THE HALL WITH PURPOSE AS I SWAGGER ON MY WAY
ENSEMBLE
HEY HEY HEY
JEREMY
I'M FEELING CRISP AND HIGH AND CLEAN
AND HEAD TO DRAMA PRACTICE WITH CHRISTINE
