Thoughts

Drowning

I've always drowned.

At first,

It was love.

My family loved

drowning me in it.

Then,

It was hard work.

For a long time it was all I knew.

And then it was you.

You showed me things I never knew existed.

Love.

Comfort.

Abuse...

And then you left.

And now, I'm drowning in me.

I'm drowning and no one seems to care.

No one cares to look past

My fake smile

No one cares to look past

My excuses

No one cares to look into

my eyes and say

What are you really feeling

And so,

I

Continue

To drown.

My body slowly relaxing from its previous tension

Becoming numb.

My eyes no longer tearing up

Only staring at nothing

My laugh slowly fading from its previous splendor

Until it is nothing.

But somehow...

I'm still drowning