Crowned: Suicide Attempt

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The next morning I rushed out of bed and drove to school. Skipping breakfast but I grabbed a coffee from Starbucks across  campus. I parked in the schools parking lot and made my way inside.

"Good morning Ethan"Mr.Doof says giving me a quick smile as I walked down the stairs to the front of the classroom. I remained silent and took a seat. Mr.Doof looked at his watch and began to walk towards me. "It's really early. You're the first one in here"he said pointing out the obvious. "I know" I said rolling my eyes and taking a sip of my coffee. "What's up?"he said taking a seat by the desk next to mine. "Nothing" I said. "Well it's got to be something. Your grades have been slipping and you've been on time,you're never on time"Mr.Doof informed with a chuckle. "Well you said I'd better be on my a game if I didn't get expelled so,here I am" I said leaning back against my chair. "That's not it" Mr.Doof said rejecting my "truth".

I glance at Mr.Doof with anger in my eyes and give him a quick smile. "Fine" I say. "I have nobody at this stupid school,I'm still getting picked on because of my sexuality and my best friend isn't my best friend anymore. I'm alone"I admitted. Mr.Doof looked at me with sadness in his eyes and didn't know what to say. Just before he could open his mouth the bell rang and students began to enter the classroom. I chuckled and nodded my head.


I successfully made it home after school was over and I rushed inside.

Stacey tried approaching me during lunch time but I avoided her and left immediately.

After rushing inside of my house I made my way upstairs and threw my book bag on the staircase. I flopped onto my bed and yelled into my pillow. The words "you're alone"circled in my head. I thought I could handle it but more piled on.

"You're such a fag"
"You're disgusting"
"No one will ever love a gay guy"
"You're meaningless"

I walked towards my desktop and lifted my laptop opened. I clicked on my webcam icon and pressed record. "Hey"I say with a quick smile. "Stacey and I still aren't talking. Well I'm not talking to Stacey"I say correcting myself. "I don't know why everyone hates me so much,but...who will ever love a gay guy right?"I say with a chuckle.

I got up from my desktop area and walked into my parents bathroom. I search in their cabinet to find some pills for a headache. I couldn't spot anything but prescripted pills for my mother. I thought it'd work so I grabbed those instead.

I made my way back into my room and sat back at my desktop.

"Today was a useless day,honestly. There was no point in going to school" I admitted speaking into my webcam and removing the pill bottles' lid. "I came home with a major headache"I say placing my hand across my forhead. "I've just been going through a rough patch" I say grabbing a water bottle that was already on my desktop.

I placed all the pills on my desktop and take two. The first one I grabbed gripping it between my index finger and my thumb. I jugged the pill and decided to go for another one,I figured one wouldn't do anything.

I stared at the pills for a while. "What if..."I say grabbing another one and jugging it down. I began to grab one by one and swallowed. Eventually there weren't any pills left. What used to be twenty pills sitting on my desktop counter became zero. I chuckled and spoke one last word into my webcam "bye"I said waving my fingers.

A couple minutes have passed and I felt myself dozing off and falling from the chair onto the ground.

Pointing out that I in no way am supporting suicide. If you yourself are struggling with something like this speak to someone,even if its a hotline! Don't be scared.Be brave and receive some help (:

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