Wingless, book 1 of Wingless Series

Hopeless

I can't stop looking at the big diamond on my finger. It's bigger than any ring I ever imagined wearing. A pink diamond, a rare stone just like the love we share.

I'm still blown away; we have devoted ourselves to each other in a way that is the same as a marriage for him and his family. And I am happy.

Kenny throws the car into park and turns off the lights, he and Ari leave the two of us alone.

"Did you have a good birthday?" he asks, smoothing my hair behind my ear.

"Definitely, the best one ever." I promise him. He grins.

"What?"

"I wasn't sure you would say yes," he says.

"Really?"

"It was worth the risk," he says.

"Yeah, kind of embarrassing also." I bite my thumb.

"Don't worry. I won't tell. The most important ones already know." He gets out of the car.

We head inside. The day releases its grip as I sit down on the couch. I watch Evan undo his shirt.

"I'm glad you had no idea. That's what made it such a great moment," he tells me, lying down on the couch, resting his feet in my lap.

"Dinner at Carlo's sometime next week. You're still okay with that right?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I told you it was fine. I want to meet your other brother."

Next week marks another big change. Evan's brother will be coming back home. I wasn't sure what it meant. But he wants us to be there.

"Do you think you'll tell your parents?" he asks, breaking into my thoughts.

"I'm not sure what I'll do to be honest. I don't know if it's worth telling them. You know how they are." I don't see them happy about it.

"Do you think you will tell them about the move?" he asks, sitting up.

I had to be hearing things. "Moving? Where?

"A new neighborhood, a new start. It will be good for us." He assures me. "And Ari and Kenny will be right down the street."

I bite my lip. "I don't understand why this is the first you're telling me about this." I know things are changing, and being together means branching off into separate lives. But I don't understand why he is springing the move on me so sudden.

"It's going to be good." He smooths my hair.

"How do I break this to my parents?" I say, ready to explode. I like to defy them, but moving even farther away is overkill—even for me.

"I thought you would be okay with this."

"Maybe if you asked my opinion first, or didn't spring a move on me," I tell him.

Evan rolls his eyes "If I could plot out everything in life, you would be the first one helping me do that. It's how it works." He sighs and offers nothing more than a shrug.

"So what you're saying, this is just the way it has to be?" I am not one for being told what to do. And I also am a bit fearful of moving away from all that I know.

"Remember when I told you to trust me?" Evan asks.

"Yeah, I remember. And I do trust you," I say. "That doesn't mean this isn't hard."

"Please, trust me," he says, offering me a sympathetic smile.

I can tell by the look on his face, he is tired and doesn't want to fight about this.

So I give in. "I will go wherever you go. It may sound silly but this town is the only thing I have left of my brother."

If I stay in Beaumont I'm still close to my brother. It's his final resting place, the place he forever remains. If I move, part of me feels like I am abandoning him.

"It's not silly at all. And if I could work something out, I would. Your brother is in your heart, and you're taking that with you." He smiles.

"He's a good memory, he makes me happy."

"Memories are good," Evan agrees.

"When he was alive my family was happy. It's not like that anymore." I bite my lip; god life is depressing when you think about it.

Evan wraps his arms around me, and kisses me on my forehead. "I may not know a lot about life, or have everything figured out, but I do believe no one is ever gone. They weave a life inside each of us and keep right on living."

The way he explains it is beautiful.

His reason is beautiful. When you lose someone you love some things still linger. You can still remember the way their voice sounds if you try hard enough. Or how they smell when they walk into the room.

The world is still full of their things. It's as if they created a lasting reminder to hold close when we can't hold them anymore.

I realize it doesn't matter where I go. It is up to me to hold onto Marcus' memory. I know I will always be heartbroken, and I know that will never change. My hope, I want to remember Marcus forever through every part of my life, in everything that I do.

"I wish I could have talked to him one more time," I say as I lay there in bed with Evan.

"What would you have said?" he asks.

"If everything was okay."

"What do you mean?"

"Was life everything that he wanted? Is he happy?" My tears fall, but I don't wipe them away. When you cry in the dark nobody knows.

"I think he is," Evan tells me.

"You think so?" I ask, my eyelids are growing heavy.

"I can almost guarantee it." He rolls over and puts his arm around me.

"I sure hope so. He was such a great brother." I close my eyes. Evan's fingers running through my hair lulls me to sleep.

***

"Eve Renee!"

Whoever is saying my name sounds angry. And it scares me because I only know one person who sounds anything like this.

I sit up, my heart racing, looking around the room. My breath bursting in and out, I don't even know if I am awake.

"Eve Renee, are you going to answer me?"

I touch my forehead, and blink quickly.

"Eve, don't play dumb."

I shake my head. It's Marcus, I know his voice. This can't be happening.

He appears in the corner of the room. And he looks like he did the last time I saw him. He stays where he is, his hands in his pockets, that big grin, and his messy curls.

"Will you say something already?"

"Marcus?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, it's me. I wanted to tell you that you're doing the right thing. I think so anyways," he tells me. "As long as you trust your decisions you will always know where you're headed. You're a smart girl."

I'm amazed. "What are you talking about?" I don't know how long this is going to last.

"I've always believed in you." And he's gone. Just like that.

I wake up screaming. Evan flips on the light, shaking me. I'm sweaty and I can't catch my breath. And he looks horrified.

I don't know what is happening, but I am scared.