Wingless, book 1 of Wingless Series

Part Pact

Evan is outside, and I am worried I ruined things beyond repair. I don't know what to say. What I said came out wrong. It isn't Evan that I regret; it's the knowing that I wish I could take back.

I open the door and step outside into the cool night air. He won't even look at me. But I force myself to stand next to him. I need a reason to start talking. But he's not giving in. So it's on me.

"I need to talk to you, before this gets out of control."

"So talk," he says dryly.

"Everything I said back there, I said it all wrong." I start with.

"No, I totally get what you meant." His wall is up and he isn't coming from behind it that easily.

"I didn't mean what I said. I don't have to be here. You know that. I am here because I want to be." I am almost on my knees and he is still being an arrogant ass about everything.

"That's right, and maybe you shouldn't be." He takes a seat on the steps.

My heart sinks, and a pain begins to swell in the back of my throat. I don't want him to give up on me. "Can you look at me?" I ask.

"No," he says, he is the most stubborn man I ever met, I'm sure of it now.

"Evan, please listen to me. You're shutting me out. I want to be here, there's nowhere I would rather be than here with you." I'm tapping my foot I am so annoyed.

"That's all nice and sweet, Eve, but I need someone who can withstand all of this, not bail when times get hard," he says.

"That's not what I'm doing." If I was I would have already left.

"Call it what you want." He stands up.

I jump up, prepared for another battle round. "So is this what you do? You avoid when you're pissed off?" I slam the door.

"You can call it whatever you want. I promised myself I would stop trying to please anyone else. And then I meet you and I think you're different." He slams a hand down on the counter.

I know he is angry, and it's hard to reason when you're that angry, I think maybe I should leave. "I'm trying. What part of that don't you get?"

"And so am I. I want to be honest with you. But how can you expect me to want to do that if you get pissed off like this when I do?" Finally he is looking at me.

"You told me my friend is going to die." I scoff; anybody with any sanity would react the same way.

"I don't expect you to take it out on me. I am trying to be honest."

"Okay," is all I can offer. He is right.

"I get that you don't understand. But put yourself in my shoes. I don't get to make people happy. I ruin lives for a living." He bites at his lip. "I don't get to give anyone what they want, ever. And out of anyone I wish I could do that for you."

"I know," I say, and I touch him. "I'm not mad at you; it's not your fault. I'm sorry I said that."

He wraps an arm around me. And sighs. "I'm glad you said that. Because sometimes I think I am doing the wrong thing. I know its fate, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to be part of it."

"What would happen if you just said you're not doing it?" I ask.

"Nothing good."

"Then there's not much you can do." I kiss his cheek.