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I paid for my shirt and turned around when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
Holy fuck.
My God his hair is so much longer, his arms look a little stronger.. but o my god his eyes are just like I remember. Okay stop stop looking at him he broke your god damn heart. O my god what do I do? The one that broke my heart is literally right in front of me. "Hey y/n" he smiles down at me. What the fuck why is he smiling , he broke me ? "I uh - I gotta go" ... I grabbed Emily's hand and walked over to the other side of the store.
"O my god I think I'm having a panic attack Em". "Deep breaths honey ... ssh he's not here now okay"... after a few minutes I calmed down. I want to scream at him, scream at him for leaving me , for breaking me but most of all for loving me. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I opened the my message and saw Shawns name pop up. What the fuck ?
Shawn : hey y/n why did you walk away? Are you okay?? Do you want to hang out later today?
Why is he acting so normal ?
Y/n : what the hell Shawn? Why are you acting so normal? You left me without a single word , and now you're asking me if I want to hang out? No thank you Shawn, I think I'll pass but hey thanks for your oh so kind request.
Was I to harsh ?
Shawn : please let my explain , I love you, you know that right?
And there we go again ... those three beautiful words thrown away into a shitty conversation.
Shawn : please meet me at our spot in an hour... I'll be waiting <3
I've spent the last couple of minutes deciding if I should go or not, what if he has a really good explanation? I want to talk to him, he can break my heart in two, but when it heals it beats for him. I still love him, shit , I still love him.
At the spot
I saw Shawn sitting on the wooden bench in the park, we used to sneak out of the house and go here when we wanted some couple time outside of the house. Maybe this was a bad decision, maybe I should have never came to this spot. I was about to turn around when Shawn called me by my name. "Y/n thank god you came"... "Shawn you better make it fast cause I don't really feel like talking to you, I have felt like shit for the past 5 months, wondering why I wasn't the one for you, why you left without a single word. You treated me like a god damn princess Shawn, when you left , the literal other half of me was gone, I don't really think that you deserve my time... I have waited long enough for you".
"Y/n listen to me. I'm so fucking sorry I left you, I can tell you the entire story but nothing will ever make this okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I broke you ... as soon as I left for tour , my manager banned me from talking to you, he said that you were a distraction , that you are no good for me. But you are, fuck, these five months have been horrible , I miss your face, your lips, your hugs, damn and how I miss that amazing personality of you. Always staying strong even though everything around you breaks down. I should have chosen you above my career , I'm so sorry y/n.. I know you'll probably never forgive me but please I'm telling the truth, I love you ".
It was in that moment that I realised that my life was shit without shawn, nothing seems to feel right , but when I'm with Shawn , everything just falls back in place and everything feels okay again.
" damn it shawn , of course I forgive you , I love you too, so so so so much".
I hugged him , taking in his fresh and sweet smell... o how i missed this, I pulled away from the hug and leaned in for a kiss, in that moment I knew that what Shawn and I had , was full of love and damn I would never ever want to live without him ever again.
