please read the personal text at the end <3 it might really help you!
shawn's POV
she keeps saying that she's alright. but i can see right through her fake smile. she's lying to me. i want to know what's wrong you know? but she keeps rejecting me... when she lies , her eyes sparkle up a bit. those beautiful eyes looking down whenever i try to talk to her. last night i heard her cry, it's like there's a reservoir in her eyes. she has been building up way too much emotions. maybe it's time to sit with her and just talk about it. i'll hold her when she needs it. i promised her that whenever things would get rough, i'll be there. and now it's like she doesn't even want me here.
y/n POV
shawn asked me if i wanted to talk. i can't keep doing this anymore. i have never really liked to talk about my feelings, but i know i have to. Shawn feels sad every time i cry... it feels like i've ben holding in way too much thoughts and it just spills out of me sometime. im in this hole and i can't get out. maybe it's better to talk about it...it's just that, i dont want people to think tat i'm crazy you know?
we sat on the couch, shawn looked at me. i know what he want to talk about.... "spill it out y/n, please tell me whats wrong. i can't keep acting like nothings wrong, you don't even hold me anymore when we go to bed'. he looked down and i swear that i could see a little tear escape his caramel brown eyes. i think he never listens... but he does. so i kept my distance....i shouldn't have done that. " shawn....life can get so confusing. and believe me...i really don't want to involve you in my problems.. i'm sory about that. it feels like i'm lost. i'm trying to fight my thoughts, and don't get me wrong, but sometimes it gets so bad that i even doubt your love for me....it feels like i'm losing. i have to hold in everything..." a thick tear that had formed itself into the corner of my eye, escaped and rolled down my cheek.
"darling, you don't have to hold in, you don't have to be afraid. it's okay to cry, you can go ahead and unload it, cause you know that it will be okay. it honestly hurts me to see you like this. and please never doubt my love for you". shawn took my soft hand in his and kissed it. "even if i don't understand, you can talk to me. when you're losing your grip, i'll hold you, i always will. you know why?" he looked me in the eyes. i shook my head, giving him a sign to keep talking. 'cause i will always keep the things that i love most close to me." tears were streaming down my face right now. "shawn.....please hold me."
he held me close and later that night we cuddled up in bed. i helped to talk to him. i stil don't understand how i could ever doubt my love for him, he is the best thing i could've ever wished for. he kissed the top of my head and whispered "i love you y/n, and tell me if there is anything wrong, we will get through this together".
shawn's POV
i finally have the girl i love in my arms again. i'm not planning on letting go either. i'll be here when things get rough. i love her. she has my heart and it belongs to her. she won't crush it.
hi loves, i know that a lot of people struggle with mental illness or just feeling sad. if you do feel sad, please know that you will get through it! you are strong enough to take care of all the stupid things in life. i also know that it can be really stressful or difficult to talk to someone you personally know... if you feel the need to talk to someone, im here. feel free to ask things are simply to have a little conversation.
i love you
