y/n POV
i woke up with the biggest headache i've ever had. I truly can't remember falling asleep tonight. i cried myself asleep...again. lately, life has been a total nightmare to me. i had an amazing boyfriend, i actually thought that everything was going alright between us, but he just left. i knew i was never good enough but he should've told me why he left. he probably didn't love me anymore.
when i was dressed up, i got myself some coffee...two sugars and a little bit of milk...that's how i like it. today was going to be a good day...i feel it. I should hurry up... i need to get the train as soon as possible. i had a plan. i'm going away with the train and i'll see were i drop. i just need some time away. i was wearing bleached mom jeans with a pastel pink crop sweater. i put on my black converse and looked in the mirror. maybe i do understand why he left me. he can have so much better then me, there are so many pretty girls out there. but whatever...i put my purse, chapstick, phone and my notebook and pencil in my bag and walked towards the front door.
i stepped on the train and sat on the second chair next the door. i got myself some Starbucks on my way here so i sipped out of my cup and looked outside. England is pretty beautiful if you ask me. i love the way the green colours of the trees mix together in the small parks, the sound the leaves make when the wind softly blows through them. i open my bag and take my earphones out, i put them in and open my spotify app. i'm in the mood for slow songs so i turn on hurt for me by SYML. damn, i love that song. the train starts riding and i just kept staring outside while sipping my coffee.
we stop in front of a big park, i decide to stay in the train and go further than this. there are couples everywhere. maybe i should've stayed inside today with a big fat bowl ice cream. but i didn't. there's this couple that has my attention. they are sitting in front of a little blue lake on a black blanket. they're laughing and sometimes they give each other small kisses. i miss having those dates. they made me feel loved. and what am i now? a shithead that looks at a cute couple while trying to fight some tears that are now threatening to spill out of my eyes like a waterfall. iknow that when i start, i won't be able to stop. it's now 10 am and the train is almost full. some people are happy and others are looking at the ground probably thinking about how shitty their life is.
the train doors were about to close when a guy ran as fast as he could to get this train. he jumped inside and looked around for a seat to sit on. of course, the only seat that was left was the one beside me. seriously, i think my life hates me. he looked at me and started walking towards me. "is it okay if i sit here?" he looked at my eyes, noticing that i was on the edge of crying. i sadly smiled and nodded. he stack his hand out for me to shake. i took his hand in mine and suddenly i felt a little nervous. he was pretty good looking if i'm being honest. ''hi I'm Shawn, Shawn Mendes" . i knew that if i spoke now , the change of my voice cracking was 100%. even though i wanted to hide and never talk again...i spoke. "hi Shawn, i um, i am y/n" my voice cracked at the end and he looked at me with worry in his eyes. a tear slipped out of my eye and i looked outside again, hoping that he wouldn't say anything again. instead of saying anything, he gave me a bottle of water and swayed his arm around me, giving me acces to burry myself in his chest. that's what i did. he smelt good, i couldn't stop sobbing, his shoulder was probably soaking wet by now.
after spending 10 minutes of crying into his shoulder, i could breath again. "look Shawn, i'm sorry. this is not how i usually meet new people. thank you for staying quiet and just comforting me. i look like a mess right now but okay....hi again" i smiled a little. i looked into his caramel brown eyes, i didn't really want to look away. must admit, he is attractive. "first of all, it's okay to break down sometimes. i don't know what happend to you but if you wanna talk about it you can just say it....i need to be on this train for a couple of hours so i have all the time. and secondly, you don't look like a mess. you're gorgeous, i really don't know how but you're still pretty even though you just cried for ten minutes. you seem nice y/n".
god, this boy.....he makes me feel, i don't know...loved? iknow that it's probably a weird thing to feel loved by someone you literally met half an hour ago, but he made me feel comfortable. "well, i guess i'm comfortable enough with you to tell you that my boyfriend...excuse me...ex-boyfriend, left me without having an actual reason. he dropped me like a piece of shit and to be honest, i felt like that too." i noticed that Shawn still had his arm around me. it felt warm and safe, he smelled so good omg. i could sniff him all day. that sounds weird...okay whatever he just smells really good okay.
after spending two full hours of laughing and chitchatting about our lifes and passions, it was time for me to get off. shawn already gave me his number. he told me he was doing the same thing as me... waiting until the train would drop him of somewhere on the other side of the country. "y/n....i hope you don't mind me asking but this place here is beautiful and i know that there is this cute little bed&breakfast at that street over there.. and i thought maybe-uh- you would like to stay there for one night. and -uh- we can just get our own room you know? but i enjoyed talking to you and there still is an afternoon and night so...uh yeh?" i lauhged at his awkwardness. it was cute. "yeah ofcourse we can stay there i don't have anything better to do so...yeah." he smiled at me with rosy cheeks and took my hand in his and we both ran out of the train.
this was going to be a fun day/night...
to be continued.......
okay, i kinda like this one to be honest. part two will be pretty cute i guess...i've got some ideas. by the way..i'm sorry for being so slow in updating. my life was kinda against me for a couple of weeks so i needed some time to think. im going to try and update more...i promise x
love you all xxx
(please vote and comment) x have a nice day!
