crushed dreams

wishing

somedays i want to sleep and
never wake up. days that are so
hard i can barley even speak
without dying a little inside.

the crying begins and so does the
cutting. the wishing that i was gone
and wanting everyone to forget
about me.

forget about my smile, laugh,
and the way i would light
up the room
without anyone knowing
i wanted to end my life in front of there eyes.

i always wished that
everyone loved me
for me. wished i could be the
best i could be.
but no one really cared for me.

i sit there and cut my wrist,
wrap up the pain and move on
with my day. all they
ask is if i'm okay.
i give them the same
answer with a fake smile.
'i'm okay i promise'.

i lie not knowing why. i know it's bad. i only do it so no
one can worry about me.
in reality i need
them to worry about
me. so if i do die they could wish i could come back alive.