Chapter Forty One

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MADISON

Today is a good day and I am forever grateful for it. My mother is going to support Clarisse with the case in Seattle. They are taking Alison as living proof for it and they would explain what happened here. Alison is not going to be present during the entire trial, but she would be of much help.

"Are you sure that you are fine? I can stay," asks my mother for the fifth time in the day. That's what Wen wants, for you to stay here for me.

"I am going to be okay mom," I reply, "and they need you there more than I do here...I am not going to get worse," I tell her and she bites her lip unsure.

"Madison!" Alison runs into the room with a beautiful purple dress and her mouth covered in chocolate.

"Alison, give that back!" Sarah enters as soon as Alison hands me a Snickers chocolate bar. "I had forgotten what it was like to have children at home," she says when I give her back the chocolate.

"Mommy. Can you tell her it's true that I can eat chocolate?" Alison asks my mother and when she looks at her I swear she makes her best effort trying not to scold her.

"Look at your face, it is all dirty," is all she says and checks my IV bag. "Sarah, can you clean her up please?" She nods and in less than five seconds she disappears with the girl.

"I told Levy they could come and visit you today," she says a few minutes later when telling me goodbye.

"To visit or to take care of me?" I reply when she gets to the door and forces me a smile.

"I think it would do you some good to be with your friends," she tries to convince herself of the idea. I nod to make her happy. "I love you," she says.

"I love you too," I reply before she finally leaves the room.

Two hours later I am with my friends without really paying attention to what is happening. I just can't stop thinking about everything. It is clear that I went from bad to worse like Wen warned me, I am weaker than a newborn. I think a baby still has more strength than I do now. My body cannot digest anything, I immediately throw up what little food can get into my mouth, and any touch or little pat creates a big bruise on my skin. My kidneys recently started to fail. It doesn't help that my liver seems to be rebelling against everything. My heartbeats are the most unpredictable; every second my pulse is increasing and decreasing, much like my indecisiveness about everything. In a strangely comforting way, the only thing that stays the same is the pain. Everything hurts like hell.

"Are you still there?" asks Levy. He's way too close to my face. "Sorry," he laughs, startling me. I look at the floor from the bed, where the rest of them are and I find it empty. Where's everyone?

"And the others?" I ask confused.

"They left some time ago," he says."You told them all goodbye and everything," he says trying to jog my memory. I don't remember.

"Maybe my memory is starting to shut down too," I say and he just forces a smile, sitting down next to me. "Where's Dylan?"

"With your mother and Alison in Seattle," he replies patiently and I nod without anything else to say.

"Did I miss something?" I ask and he forces another pitying smile.

"I got into Yale!" he says looking at his hands with a little smile on his face. "Jessica is going too. Can you believe it? We are going together to college." His eyes shine for the excitement of his dreams coming true.

"Sounds incredible Levy," I say and he nods with a proud smile. "You'll be a great lawyer."

"What about you?" he asks and I wait for him to continue. "What are you going to do?" he asks. I laugh at the impossibility of me going to college. Does no one actually see I am dying? He looks at me confused and I sigh.

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