What Every Fangirl Wants

Chapter Twenty-one

Lee min-ho

After all the time I spent in Japan per Da-leah I've neglected work and have a tower of things I need to catch up on. I should be focusing on it all but my focus is being intercepted of thoughts of Angela. It would be easier if I weren't in this unwanted drama of being forced into a relationship with someone I don't like more than just a friend (even that is questionable). Now that I think about it Hyun-joong has gone MIA since he last called me to help accompany Angela back. I don't know if to thank him or to doubt his sincerity. ((phone vibrates)) Speak of the devil.

Lee min-ho: Annyeong. I was just wondering about your whereabouts. 

Kim hyun-joong: I have a request from you, that has to do with Angela.

Lee min-ho: (I knew it was coming.) Araso. I'm listening.

Kim hyun-joong: I just ask of you if you really do care for Angela, that you watch over her and take care of her.

Lee min-ho: I will, but it was already in my intention. But weren't you also pursuing her? Why are you so easily leaving an open door for me?

Kim hyun-joong: No one said it's easy, she's not showing interest in me so I'll step back.

Lee min-ho: We're clear then. You be at ease.

After hanging up with Hyung-joong I decide to give Angela a call. I will give it all I've got to make amends with her and make progress on this thing I call romance. She is definitely not easy to convince but we can start out slow. Firstly I should invite her out for some coffee and engage in some small talk.

Angela

I've been a little down these past days. I can't seem to get ahold of oppa Hyun-joong and he has not made any attempt to contact me either. I feel like he's hiding something from me and I can't put my finger on what. If I had to take a wild guess I'd say it has something to do with me because if it weren't, why would he go out of his way to avoid me. It seems to me that min-ho must be either lonely or have no one else to speak to. When he's not texting he's calling, always making sure that I've eaten or gotten home safely. It should feel amazing but I can't stop thinking about oppa. Ugh here goes min-ho calling again.

Angela: Min-ho do you seriously not have anything better to do?

Lee min-ho: Annyeong! How about pick the phone up with a smile and a greeting? (If only she could see all the work I'm neglecting because she's all I think about.)

Angela: Annyeong! (I say with sarcastic enthusiast and a fake smile.) Okay, how can I help you?

Lee min-ho: Now that you ask I'm actually calling to invite you.... (I know I said earlier I would invite her for some coffee or what not but come on I'm min-ho I have to go big or go home. Araso?) to have dinner with me tonight I already went ahead and made reservations for Tavolo 24. It is said to be one of the must visit prestigious restaurants here in Seoul.

Angela: As a matter of fact sure! I'd love to. (eh why not? I'm already feeling lonely as it is.)

Lee min-ho: Wait.. What? No argument? A calm none objective yes?

Angela: Or I can say no if you want?

Lee min-ho: Aniyo, I'm happy you said yes I'm just taken aback a bit. (Yes! Fist pump.)

Angela: Haha. Of course you would say that. What time should I be ready? 

Lee min-ho: Pick you up at 8:30pm sharp be ready. Okay now I really need to get to work before I end up bankrupt and out of business.

Angela: Haha. Kure kure, Bye bye.

Kim hyun-joong

I am doing all of this to try and rip Angela out of my heart. She pierced her beauty, her smile and her unique energetic personality into my lonely deserted heart. Some things I see, are easier said than done. Being away from everyone is giving me an opportunity to connect with myself and discover new hobbies that I surprisingly enjoy. I may go a few hours without thinking of Angela but I go right back to thinking about her. Not only thinking about her, I am beginning to doubt that I'm forgetting but instead falling deeper in love with her. Being apart from her is like living but not breathing, unbearably painful.

I keep my phone off unless making a call to my assistant or to handle some business. I don't leave it on for long because I can see all the notifications from my texts and voicemails and I know they are from Angela. If she were to call in that instant of me using my phone I wouldn't have the strength to ignore her. I know to her I am just a friend and that she is used to seeing me and simply just for that reason. I don't blame her but truthfullu could she not see my feelings for her? 

Either way I will not see her until I know for a fact that I can face the reality of not having her. Maybe I am selfish or maybe I'm just a coward but that's the best way I can think of to give her the space she needs. Also give myself the time to analyze and organize my deepest most sincere feelings. They say if you truly love someone, seeing them happy should make you happy. Yet I don't think I'm strong enough for that, at least not at this time. I'll keep my distance for now and hopefully I will be able to grow and let go with time between us.