Move On And Run (COMPLETED)

Chapter 9 "The Guilt"

*Mariyah pov*

Day pass and it's been 3 weeks, me and Henry become friends. Dustin as usual hating me as always, I stopped cutting, I build more confidence, I started to wear prettier clothes instead of hoodie all the time, Lots of friends realise my weight loss, I felt so happy.

It's been 3 weeks since I starve myself eating only fruits and jogging every night around 8pm, I still have no confidence to jogg at the afternoon so I jogg at night. I weight myself and I lost from 89kg to 81kg. I was so happy, I quickly went downstairs to tell my parents about my weight and they are proud of me and ask me to keep on continue what I'm doing.

I went upstairs to my room and I receive a message from Henry.

Henry:
Hey do you want to go out?

Mariyah:
Sure, where and with who?

Henry:
Just the both of us.

Mariyah:
Sure

Henry:
I'll pick you up at 2. See you later.

ו°×•°×•°×•°×

"Hey" Henry raspy voice call

"Hey Henry" I reply

"Do you want to go now?" He smile

"Yeah sure"

I went out of the door, suddenly Henry realises something

"I forgot something"

"What is it?" I ask

"Don't close the door yet"

"Why?" I furrowed my brows

Henry then went inside and meet my parents. They shake hands for awhile and we talk for moment. We talk about how long we've been friends, how we meet, how's school and life for around 50 minutes.

After then we went out, We walk enjoying the scenery, we talk while walking till we reach the mall

"Im hungry,Do you want to eat?" He ask

I don't want to eat but, he's hungry so I can't be ego.

"Sure"

"Let's go to the MacDonald's" he suggested "I've been craving for that"

"Uh sure"

So we walk to the MacDonald's, henry ask me to sit down while he ordered for us food, I say to him that I'll just have water but he insisted me to eat too and he'll treat me. He kept on forcing till I gave in. Minutes later he came with his meal and he bought for me mcspicy burger meal with corns, fries and coke. In my mind I've been stressing out ,what if I become fat again, I don't want to become fat, I don't want Dustin to hate me even more, I don't want anyone calling me piggy or smelly or fatty anymore, I-

"MARIYAH" Henry shouted

"Ah yes?, sorry"

"Are you ok?" He sounded worried

"I'm fine" I lied

I plan to eat a little, If I didn't finish I'll bring back home the rest, but instead, I binge eating again, I ate the whole set till finish.

"Wow you must be hungry" he chuckle

I almost cry but I hold it back

"Kinda?" I chuckle back, I reply more like a question

After our meal, we rested for a couple minute. I feel so guilty eating all those food, I felt like I wanted to cry.

"I have to go to the toilet" I said

"Sure" he reply

I stood up and went to the back toilet and start crying, I look to my left and there's toilet bowl seat. I feel like I wanted to vomit but I felt guilty. I then have no choice I don't want to be called fat again, so I have to do it.

I kneel down ,putting my head near the toilet bowl, I use my two fingers and start poking deep in my mouth/throat , then I vomit all the food that I just swallow. It felt bad but I felt better at the same time. My throat hurts, my eyes were wattery. After I vomited out all my food, I wipe my mouth and went out to wash my mouth and face.