Beautiful Disasters [complete]

They Said That I Was Foolish

(Listen to this song after the "***" )

They Said That I Was Foolish

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How could he be the one to hurt me, even if it was unintentional.

My head was spinning, my eyes were glazed over, and I was feeling nauseous.

Pull over right now.

I'm almost home.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, shaking my head as if I was trying to block it all out.

Horns. I hear horns.

I quickly glanced at my side view mirrors and gasped. Cars were lined up behind me and the traffic light was green.

Go.

I slammed down on the pedal and sped up, trying to catch up with the cars that were meters away.

Having been proven that I wasn't in the right state of mind, I started driving to my hide-out spot that was usually vacant. I knew that I had a couple boxes of cigarettes, meaning that it would be easy for me to slip away. 

I pulled to a stop, grabbed the cigarettes from the trunk, and sat on the dried patch of grass. It was still daylight, in the early hours of the afternoon. Under the small cliff that I was sitting on was a river stream. It was peaceful but I couldn't shake off the horrible feeling that was sitting in the pit of my stomach. Why is it that I cannot get a break from all that happens to me? Why am I constantly facing battles?

Who knows. 

I lit the cigarette and put the butt to my lips. Inhale, exhale. Let it all go away.

Now what? 

Do I let Sebastian back in? Do I let him be close to me again?

How can I get over this? 

Is he to blame? 

I don't know if I can trust him again. If it wasn't for him, this would've never happened. 

But it also wasn't his fault. He didn't know and I'm sure if he had known, then none of this would've happened. 

What to do. 

The answer seemed simple because it was the only answer. 

I have to just move on with life, ride with the stride, and see just how far I can get with the facade. 

I need to stay away from him, for both of our sakes. 

*** (play the song nnneeeeoooow)

I gathered all of my things from my locker, switching my binders for the next class. It was lunch time and Sebastian and I's group project was due soon. In a month or so. 

The scary part was not knowing if we would still be around each other in a month or so. 

That also meant I had a month to get my grades up. After all, my low marks could easily be fixed if I handed in my late assignments. Hopefully I could graduate with honours. 

A figure loomed over me. I turned around and my eyes immediately connected with ocean blue eyes. Only a certain guy had such vibrant eyes and at this point, my mission was to avoid him. 

"Chanel," he said, his voice clipped and his eyes kept bouncing from mine to my binder in my arms. He was nervous and he had hooded eyes, his dark eye bags clashing against his azure eyes.