Beautiful Disasters [complete]

Maybe Life Is Good

Maybe Life Is Good

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Sebastian's POV

I felt like a lot of me has been chipped away. 

I don't know why I am here but all I can think about is how I need to get Chanel off of my fucking mind. 

The music blared loudly as a bunch of people danced with one another. Senior year meant that Jason Abels had to throw the biggest party of the year — taking after his brother's legacy, who graduated last year. 

I was mainly here for the free alcohol and was looking for a distraction. My sister is still in a coma, my parents are gone (in complete isolation apparently) and my poor maid couldn't do much to help me out. I wanted things that I knew I couldn't have at the moment and two of those things were for my sister to wake up and for Chanel to come back to me. 

But no. 

I grumbled under my breath as I downed another shot. I was standing against the island in the kitchen, watching Tasha and her friends grind on each other. And from this viewpoint, I know that I truly fucked up with Chanel – a good girl, down to earth, humble, quiet, and understanding. 

Tasha and I were nothing compared to Chanel and I. 

If I'm being completely honest, I have no idea why I'm here. Let's face it — my bank account contains enough funds for me to buy an entire liquor store. So why am I truly here? 

I need a distraction and that distraction happens to be any female with a pulse.

In my washed out jeans that were rolled at the ankles, white sneakers, and a plain black shirt with my leather jacket, I'm sure I was looking at least attractive to someone. I even gelled my hair. But still, I don't feel too good for anything. I don't want anyone else besides Chanel. 

I only want a distraction.

I scoffed. Look at me — trying to justify my manwhore ways as trying to distract myself. Like waking up next to some random girl will erase Chanel's face from my mind. 

I slammed the shot glass on the island, pouring myself another. 

"Hey Sebastian," a girl said from besides me. I turned around, raising the glass to my lips as I looked at her. Average. Brown hair down to her ass, decent makeup, skimpy outfit. 

I groaned. "Nope," I said, walking away. 

No one compares to her!

My feet walked in some direction and I soon found myself in the backyard, staring at Jason's massive pool — though mine was bigger. I stared at the oscillating waves on the water, the bubbles emitted by the jacuzzi. To the far corner of his backyard was a hot tub. And it was running, steam rising as the water turned the variety of colours in the electromagnetic spectrum. 

My sudden urge to go in it and just close my eyes was enough for me to walk over and take off my jacket, shirts, socks, shoes, and pants, setting it besides me as I climbed in. I wasn't wearing speedos or anything so I wasn't too concerned about my boxers being nasty or embarrassing, they were just fine to dip into the water with. 

The steam greeted me and I sighed heavily, resting my arms on the sides of the tub as I leaned my head back. I could finally breathe and think coherently again. Although Chanel believes we left off of on a good note, I know I had to act civil because I knew that she needed me to. Internally, I wanted to scream and tell her I loved her and that I wanted to kiss her. But I held all of that back, for the sake of her wellbeing.