Inhuman

Chapter 6

Her funeral was today, and I didn't want to go. Is that a bad thing that I don't want to go? I thought sullenly to myself as I inspected myself in the mirror.

The black dress clung to me as if I rooted it to the earth. I closed my eyes a sighed, then opened them again. I was wearing makeup, I had to try not to cry today. 

I drove in my own car and Adam drove with his, the night before we decided this would be best, and it would be best to leave Mike at home. I drove slowly, I think I was trying to avoid the funeral.

I parked my car and took in a long breath, steeling myself for what lay right in front of me. Adam walked over to my car and lightly knocked on my window to get my attention. I jumped and gripped the steering wheel impossibly tight. He smiled softly at me and pulled at the door handle. With numb motions I unlocked the door and slid out, grabbing my keys and phone and I fell.

Adam offered me his arm silently and I took it without question. I pressed my finger nails into Adam's arm, if it hurt him he didn't say so. He led me to our seats and helped me down before sitting beside me.

We were early and I wish we weren't. Ashley's other friends scattered the yard and her family,  who all shot me dark looks.

Please let this start soon. I silently begged.

As the yard filled, the ceremony began. People whom I knew didn't like Ashley went up to touch her coffin and say a few words.

Adam nudged me with his foot and gestured to Ashley's coffin. I shook my head. "Later, not now." I said, with surprisingly less of a shaking voice then I expected.

He nodded, I think he was afraid to talk around me, like if he said the wrong thing I would explode. Maybe I was a bomb, I never knew anything now-a-days.

Then the speeches started and I tryed very hard not to scream. People gave terrible speeches and Ashley's mother, who hated Ash, cried throughout the whole thing, telling her sob story about how her daughter was taken too young, and she deserved better, and she was sorry she was such a bad mother.

Bull, I did know that Ashley's mom speech was just that.

More people went up and soon it was my turn. Adam looked on at me incuragingly from his seat as I walked with deaf movements to the stage.

I cleared my throat awkwardly as an opener. "Uh." I looked out over the crowd, and one specific set of eyes caught mine, Keghan. I swallowed at tryed again. "Ashley was my best friend since forever. She was always there for me and I knew she would have done everything for me, she did everything I ever asked her to do. I knew everything about Ashley, everything you could possibly imagine. And I miss her, everday, every single waking second. Most of you are familiar with my father's story." I shot my gaze around the crowd. "And now I think of him and Ashley,  every time I wake up, they are my first thoughts. Ashley was like a bright light in my life. She was always there for me, even through the father issue stage. I really don't know what I will do without her. I'm not even really sure if I am living anymore. A couple days ago I would have wished that I was with Ashley, but know I know, I wouldn't want all of you to have to go to another funeral so soon. Like I said before, Ashley was my bright little light in my time of darkness. When the truck was coming toward us, all we saw were three very bright lights, then the truck hit us, and two of the lights blinked out, and then the other, slowly after. I should have known then, I should have know that my light blinked out, Ashley blinked out and she was my light. I should have known she was gone from that moment. So Ashley? I'm sorry about everything, and I thank you for being the best friend and my light, the world is a darker place without you."