Kind Hearted (Patrick Kane)

36- You Deserve a Explanation

Victoria

It has been two months since my dad had surgery. The summer was as good as over with the boys starting up practices again. It sucks because I don't get to see Patrick around all that much. And we would have to move the rest of my things into his place eventually. But for right now we were getting my dad get settled into the apartment complex across the street from where Patrick was staying. It was a nice one bedroom apartment that was pet friendly and had a bunch of other nice amenities. I was at rest knowing he was in a better place. It's going to be weird to not live with him anymore, but he was growing and I was too. And that's what's most important.

I get home after one of my last shifts at the restaurant. I was sure going to miss that place but I know for a fact I'll still be going there a lot. The guys love eating there so I'll be there as a regular costumer for sure. Plus Ruby promised to hang out with me even though I don't work there anymore.

I unlock the door to my old apartment and open it up. But when I do I see the place was completely clean. Everything was gone except for a blanket and a ice pack and a heater sitting in the middle of the room. I walk over to it and see a note sitting on top so I pick it up and read it.

"I have to admit, I haven't been the most honest with you. Don't get me wrong, I haven't lied to you. I would never lie to you. But there is one part of me that no one knows about. And for the longest time I tried to hide it. But it was also the best day of my life so I figured I should probably explain where you come in this complicated story also known as my life.

Do you remember when you dropped me off after you helped me when we first met? You asked me why I drank like that, why I skipped around the question and never gave you a real answer. That's because I couldn't tell you what happened. I was embarrassed and scared and unaware of what was happening. But I feel like as we move from one chapter to another in our story together it's time to close the book on this chapter. But you deserve to know how we came to be.

The day before you found me I had just gotten back from Switzerland. I had been sent there to play while the lockout was here along with some other reasons. My life here in Chicago was shaky, there was a lot of speculations around me and they weren't good. A lot of drinking problems, some maturity and public incidents that I wasn't proud of. But the one reason I was messed up with my life here was my girlfriend. Well... ex-girlfriend.

I had met her back when Jonny and Gracie were dating. She was a great girl, just a sweet little thing. She was going to school here in Chicago to do hair and makeup and she was pretty good. We hit it off back in 2010 and we were together for a while. For nearly 2 years. But my bad habits wore on her, I could see it in her eyes. She hated when I went out. Then something would happen when I did and I wouldn't remember and I would see it in the news the next day. Man... those guys always caught my bad moments and she always called me out on it. That's why I didn't want you to take me to the hospital when you found me. Someone was bound to find me out and expose me like they always do. This city might love me but the bad stories sell just as well as as the good ones. And if I don't give enough good the bad will surely turn up on the front page.

Anyway, our relationship started to crack under the pressures I put upon us. She tried to fix me but I was so broken that there was no way to figure out which piece went where. I asked her to move in and she said no, she wanted to think it through and make sure she was ready. Then the lockout came and I asked her to come to Switzerland with me so we can figure it all out. Then when we came back we could move in together and we can start our lives together. But she insisted I went without her. She wanted me to have time apart to figure some things out and she needed to do the same for herself. She needed a break from everything I was putting her through and I understood, being with me is exhausting. I'm sure you figured that out by now. I wasn't happy about leaving without her but I knew she wasn't going to be persuaded any other way. So I left for three months and we barley spoke the whole time. Just a update every once in a while but that's about it.

Then I finally came home that fateful day. The day before our paths crossed. The first thing I did when I got home was go straight see her. I was still in my suit from the plane. She invited me over to talk and I figured that she missed me as much as I missed her. That she would be happy to see me and all. But I was met with a door in my face. She told me that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. She said that there wasn't a way we would ever work out. She couldn't handle loving me, there was no way that her and I could be happy together.

I loved that girl. It wasn't a good love, but it was the only love I knew. I had been here in the city for the longest time and I figured she would always be there for me. I didn't think she would give up on me like that. At least not that easily. But she did, I was too much for her and she decided that she can't do this anymore.

So I left her place and went and drank. I drank and drank and drank. I added more problems to the problems I already had and I didn't care. I figured what's the point? If she couldn't love me then no one could love me the way I was and I couldn't change even if I tried.

I don't remember much from that night. I'm sure I fell off a table somewhere causing me to hurt my ankle and eventually Jonny and Gracie showed up to try and stop me. But it was all a blur. All just a terrible attempt to forget about her, about someone ever caring about me ever again.

And then I somehow ended up on the sidewalk the next day at 2 pm still in my suit from my travels the day before. I left all my shit in the bar and didn't tell my friends where I was going. My feet, or maybe my heart led me to the place we met and for the second time in about 24 hours my mind was changed.

Because you showed me that someone can care for me, even when I am low. You showed me that someone who knows nothing about me can love me and give me hope reguardless of who I am. With this exact blanket you wrapped me with the warmth of your heart. With this heater you and your dad showed me that you would use the last of what you needed to take care of me instead of yourselves. With this ice pack you healed my ankle and my hurting heart too.

I can't begin to explain how thankful I am for you. For everything you do. And when I asked you to move in that meant a lot to me, because my last girlfriend wouldn't do that because she said it wasn't going to work out. Didn't even give me a chance. But now I'm lucky because you changed so much to show me that you were serious about us and that you cared. And for that I am grateful.

Now if you head over to my place I would really like to show you how much you mean to me.

-love, Patrick."

I set the note down and smile big. I leave the apartment and the stuff in there before setting my keys in the drop box. I get in my car and take one last long look at this place. It treated me well and I was going to miss it, but I wasn't going to miss it that much.

I drive over to Patrick's place and hop out the car. I run up to his door and knock frantically. I had keys but I didn't want to get them out. Eventually the door opens and I see Patrick standing there in a suit like the first day I met him. I run and jump into his arms as he easily catches me. I take no time pressing my lips to his as he keeps me stable.

"I love you so so so much" I insist.

"I love you too baby. I love you too."