self-knowledge ~ SuperCorp

chapter 8

Kara was sitting on her couch, eating pizza, potstickers were unfortunately already eaten.

"Kara, it's been already five days since..since the certain incident." Alex carefully said, trying not to hurt Kara, while cleaning kitchen counter. When she came in Kara's apartment this morning, she was greeted by great scene, dishes were literally everywhere, some of them were broken in shards lying on the floor, also there was a black, burned line streched across almost whole apartment, probably caused by her ongoing bitterness.

Alex waited for Kara to at least look at her, but no response came from the couch, so she continued.

"Kara, I thought, that you would-"

"Be with her, making out? Not thinking about what I did at all? That I would forgive myself?! That I would let her be with me?!"

Kara didn't mean to yell, especially not at her sister, but this is exactly, what Kara was feeling and she couldn't feel anything else. Last night, she even thought about self-harming. 'Unfortunately', the only thing that could harm her was kryptonite, which was locked up in the DEO, so the thought was washed away as quickly as it came.

"Kara, I don't think that you should be like this. It's not healthy. Yes, you probably hurt her, but more you're hurting youself, so i ask you: Don't you like Lena?" Alex tried to make her sister think rationally. She wanted just the best for her and this wasn't anywhere near good.

"No, Alex. I don't like her. I love her. And that's why I am EXACTLY like this." Kara was about to cry again and she didn't want her sister to her miserably drown herself in tears, but Alex was still standing there, watching her buried in pillows on a couch, pure care could be seen in her eyes.

"You didn't do anything that unforgivable, okay? I don't know much about Lena, but I can tell, that she does care for you. I'm pretty sure, she'd forgive you as soon as you'd look in her eyes. And this scene I see here? This would break her heart."

"Just go away, please" Kara sorrowfully mumbled from the couch, whilst hugging her legs. Alex came closer to Kara and kneeled down, placing her hand, palm down, on Kara's.

"For one time, I don't feel sorry for the youngest Danvers. I feel sorry for a Luthor."

Alex got back up and walked towards the door.

"And that sucks by the way." Alex added while taking her leather jacket.

"Hey, you know that you can call me, whenever you want, right?" Alex asked this time more with more concerned tone in her voice and turned around to grab her purse.

"And you know where the door is, right?" Kara harshly returned her question and Alex annoyed nodded.

"Just put yourself together as soon as you can."

Those were last words before Kara was left alone in her apartment again, facing complete loneliness and silence. But Alex was right. She needs the put herself together. She slowly got up and suddenly her phone rang. Again. And again, it was a text from Lena.

Lee ❤:

I know your sister said that you're taking care of your mom, but I'm sick worried about you. Please call or text me, when you can. LL.

She was getting those quite frequently past two days, this one was actually already 16. today, but Kara just ignored it as any other and walked in bathroom to get a shower.

She took off her clothes, which was actually her pink pyjamas and stepped into shower, letting cold water wash her frustration and she stood there just staring at the wall for at least ten minutes. She wanted to clear her head, but every single time she tried, her thoughts drifted back to Lena. To her like-strawberry smell Kara loves so much, to her dark raven hair, to her intimidating but also caring and soft green eyes, to her smile, that always makes Kara melt, to her full, red lips, that she already loves so much to kiss, to her body, that she wants to someday thoroughly explore, to the her thoughtful sight, which she secretly loves to look at, when Lena's working, to her politeness, intelligence, badassness and to her goodwill even though her family isn't known as the goodwill one.