Diary Of A Nonbinary

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hey guys!

so it's literally 5am and i can't sleep so i thought why not write to you lovelies. 

i'm sososososo tired and i have no idea why i can't sleep, but i kinda wish i could slip into a coma for a few days that'd be great. 

i'm so excited because my birthday is coming up soon. i'm not ready to get a year older or anything, i just want to have my birthday party and eat ihop for my special birthday breakfast tbh. 

school is also going to start for me in the next few weeks and i'm not ready. i already know i'm going to hate it so much. everyone i know tells me that sophomore and junior year are the hardest years of high school and i'm so not ready. i didn't want to be a freshman and i sure as heck don't want to be a sophomore now. 

//

earlier today i started an amazingphil marathon and honestly like can we talk about fetus phil? his old videos are so weird, but creative and i love them? i love fetus phil. he's so cute. he's literally the most adorable and precious person ever i swear. 

i was already a phillie, but now it's gotten worse. 

also, i miss him and dan so much. like phil's uploaded since i've been to interactive introverts, but i just miss them okay. i want to see them in person again and i wish i could've met them but i'm broke. seriously, i don't understand how some people are paying to go to more than one show (even for vip tickets like what???) and my whole family is gonna be on a tight budget for the rest of the year because my mom bought me and her a normal ticket for one show. 

speaking of interactive introverts, one of you guys told me you are going soon. i hope you have a great time! and if any of the rest of y'all are going i hope you have fun too!

//

also, i'm still really confused about my gender and i was thinking that maybe i could be genderqueer? though i'm not sure what it means. i want to look it up, but i doubt there's a decent definition on google and my mom can see what i search. so if someone could explain it to me that would be greatly appreciated :)

now the sun has arose and the stupid birds are chirping i've stayed up so long. it's literally 6 now...how did it even take me an hour to write this? the tiredness is effecting the rate at which my brain is working. 

i should probably try to get some rest now.

~a very tired kass who doesn't give a crap about capitalization