Can't have

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Can't even have a miserable failed dance experience where I can't even ask a girl to dance. Can't even have a night of watching other people enjoy themselves as I sit in silence feeling like a giant loser.  Have a failed attempt of doing something rebellious or a night out of being bored and anxiety without you guess showing up. Maybe it would've been better to have stayed in my room alone and wait for you to do this at school. Then at least there would have been a couple hours of sleep and relief. I haven't gone to a school function or after school thing till you targeted me in my first year of high school. 

Can't have a little chance of a day or a few hours at this school without getting tormented. Without having your words burn themselves into my head or be dragged away. Be brought to a special place and be subjected to the cruel thing you can think of. Can't have a day without bruises or marks or without me the screw up facing something new and painful. 

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