Five years later after breaking up with his ex-boyfriend to pursue his career, Jeongguk starts recieving an email from Taehyung every day.
And suddenly, he wished he could turn back time.
❝ Like how the universe continues to expand every second, my...
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To: jungkook.jeon97@gmail.com
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Dear Jeongguk,
Hi, Jeongguk.
This is going to be my last letter to you, so listen well.
First of all, as I've said in the first letter, I didn't make this because I want you back. I have no intention of doing that. Not at all. I sent these to clear my regrets, and most importantly, to tell you what I should've told you before we decided to end what we had.
Just now, I realized that it was pretty selfish of me to sent you these letters. I didn't even consider what you would feel. That time, all I could think about was how life must've hated me so much. I was hurting, and I thought if you felt the same way, the pain within me will lessen. But it didn't. It didn't change anything. If more, the ache only grew. Because the more I talked to you and the more I looked back, the more I begin to love you way more than I did before. And that love itself hurts. But it's something I'd willingly embrace.
Right now, I'm trying to be okay. I'm actually trying to be better his time. I've accepted this fate and I will continue to walk on this path. I know this is not the end, or maybe it is, but hey, at least I made you these letters. I've finally freed myself from all the what-ifs, could've-beens, and if-evers.
Jeongguk, I just wanted to tell you that I never regretted opening the door to my life for you. You were the greatest thing that happened in my life. Without you, life won't even nearly be the same.
My biggest mistake was probably leaving the door open as you took that opportunity to escape. You left.
How stupid am I though? I still kept the door open, hoping you'll come back one day.
Only it never happened.
And it will never happen,
because this is the day I'll be closing the door of my life.
Jeongguk-ah, please don't feel guilty. I knew you didn't want to end our relationship in the first place. I knew you wanted to stay with me. But I also knew you can't choose both. And so, you chose your dream over me.
But you're not the only one who's at fault in here. I am too. Mine was when I let your silhouette fade away, when I didn't even bother to chase you, and when I just let you slip away from my life.
I was a coward. I thought I'd hinder your career, which truthfully speaking, I still think I will.
That is why I am sending you these letters four years later. I'm guessing you've probably reached the stars by then and I won't be a hindrance anymore.
But hey, remember when I told you you're my Polaris? Well, not anymore. Right now, you're everyone's star, and I'll be there always watching you from afar.
Jeongguk-ah, I guess this is my last goodbye. I am finally letting you go. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
I love you, and I will always be your number one fan.
From, Kim Taehyung
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email sent: August 11, 2014 email recieved: August 11, 2018 sent by @kim.th1230@gmail.com
•••
It's not the goodbye that hurts, it's the flashback that follows.
Jeongguk has too many regrets in life, but the biggest of them all was probably
when he let go of the hand he wanted to hold the most.
