Entrance To the Woods ✓

One,

Melissa

Sophomore year was boring. I've head several people tell me it was their favorite year; the freshman's are scoming in, the juniors are worried about college, and the seniors are trying their hardest to keep the scholarships they stressed about the year before. Sophomores are just kinda there, or at least that's how I felt. I was kinda stressed, kinda happy, and had a kinda good time. Basically, everything was just average. There was nothing that really popped out to make my year a great one.

There were no friends, in general just no one in particular. I've never been the person to connect with people.

My mind wanders as I sit back and watch everybody else. Older generations say I'm on my phone too much and there's more to life than my dry inbox. But sometimes I don't think there is. There's no difference between me sitting on my phone away from people and me sitting next to them, elbows touching, voices intertwining. Nothing helps the void in my chest. My heart doesn't beat any faster when a friend laughs at a joke I've told over and over again. I still feel isolated, as if the distance between me and them never fades no matter whether I leave or not. Lives don't change when I walk through the door. My life isn't anyone's constant; it's not even mine.

So therefore, it's my mission to make my life someone's constant. Fuck do I want to feel that kind of feeling.

I want to be able to look at someone and have a surge of happiness plow through my heart. I want to have someone who cares about me no matter my flaws and instead flaunts them like a trophy when talking to their friends. I want to have that one person that makes me smile and laugh and everything in between just from a simple sentence. There doesn't have to be much to it, but they know me so well to understand what will make me laugh until I sprout tears in the corners of my eyes. We'll be together and never get sick of each other. They'll be there to care for me when I'm sad and I'd do the exact same. We might get in fights, but we'll know how get through it because each other is enough to want to keep going. The plans we share will be promises that hold wishes that were made when under the starlight. We would stay up together, talking about each other and our days. When someone feels the curse of the nightlife causing them to share one of there deepest fears, the other will listen. They'll respond and try to talk along with what their saying, not against. We'll make each other happy and smile until the sun comes back around because seeing the other sad is painful. Our hearts will be tethered in more ways than one, but not all. There will be an understanding about space and independence. Everyone wants time to themselves and when that happens, it will be given. But the want to have them back in my arms will come back- maybe in a week, day, or hour- and they'll find their way back because they know that's where they belong.

Fuck do I want to be in love.