Blood and Tears

Struggling for Life.

I sat quietly in the loud room, taking in the faces of the countries that never noticed me. I started with my brother, then moved to Francis, England, the Italian brothers, Germany, the Nordics, Russia, the Baltics, China and Japan, and all the rest. My eyes landed on the last country at the table. Germany's brother Prussia. He was arguing with America and boasting about how 'awesome' he is. Better let it sink in, this is the last time I'll ever be seeing them again. I looked down and spaced out. Soon though I felt like some one was watching me. I looked up and scanned the countries again.

Sure enough Prussia was staring at me. Or the spot I was in. I'm not here anyway to them. Why bother to try? But something compelled me to smile, so I did. It was fake of course, forced onto my face to conceal my emotions. He stared intensly at me until Germany talked to him. "Vhat are jou staring at bruder?" Prussia blinked for a second then forgot about me. "Nosing. Zhe awesome me thought I saw somesing." I bit back my smile and looked down, tears forming in my eyes. Why even try to get my hopes up? If I do that, they'll only get crushed by reality.

I got up slowly and left, heading home and leaving my car in the parking lot. I sat down on the swings next to the building, staring at the sky. Soon the building emtied of the countries, Prussia left standing on the front steps. Only his car and mine were still in the lot and he looked confused. I watched as he turned around, looking for something. Then he sighed and his eyes locked on mine. He squinted and started to walk toward me. He stood over me, staring at me like if he blinked, I'd disappear.

"Yes? How can I help you?" I said to him. "Vhat?" I spoke louder. "What do you want?" He looked around for a minute, then back to me. "Vhat's vrong? Jou look sad. Und who are jou?" I bit my tongue and looked down. "I'm not sad, and I'm Canada. Ca-na-da." I said, making every syllable heard. I got up off the swing and turned to walk home. "Vait! Vhere are jou going?" I heard him ask. "Home." I mumbled so quietly, not even a mouse could hear my voice. I walked quickly down the sidewalk.

I got home and looked around. Come on you coward. Get it over with. Think of something with that dumb brain of yours and do it. My eyes glanced at a drawer in one of the hallway tables. I walked over and opened it and some rope was laying in the bottom. I grabbed it slowly and walked into the kitchen to grab some paper and a pen. I looked up and decided the attic. Once I had the pen and paper, I walked up the stairs to the third story and tied the rope to a rafter. I was eerily calm as I wrote my final words on the paper, adressing my family.

I'm tired of this. Tired of living. What's worth living for when all you are is nothing. Nobody notices me, and I don't care anymore. Does the name 'Canada' ring a bell? It won't because no one noticed me. The invisable country, always the pushover. Nobody really cared about me, did they? I'm nothing and there's no reason to live when all you are, is nothing. Even when someone did notice me, I was America. I'm not America. I never will be. I'm his shadow, the quiet lonely country that was always over looked. Never noticed.

I placed the note onto the ground and looked at the rope hanging from the celing. You'll be doing them a favor, not a burden. After all, you're a burden anyway. They won't notice you're gone. They. Don't. Care. I stood on a chair and tied a cloth around my neck, then slipped the rope over my head. I closed my eyes as silent tears escaped. I heard a knock at the door. Oh well. Wrong house anyway. They dont care at all. I sniffled and tightened the rope. With my final breath, I kicked away the chair from under me.

~Prussia POV~

I followed the man all the way to his house and stayed outside for a while. He was hiding something. He smiled but his eyes were dull and distant. I watched him move around then head up the stairs. "Come on Prussia, go und see vhat is vrong vith him..." I got up from the bushes and walked to his door. I knocked on the door and waited. Then I heard a crash. I don't know why, but I paniced. I knocked more fiercely on the door, but nobody answered. The door opened a smidge and I saw the little white bear that was always floating at the meetings.

It seemed frantic as it pushed me inside and up the stairs. "Go mister! You have to get him down! Hurry up!" I ran up the stairs, horrified at the sight before me. The blonde man with the sad violet eyes was clawing at his neck, hanging a few feet from the floor. "Oh ScheiBe!" I swore and ran forward, grabbing his legs and lifting. I looked around frantically. "Polar bear! Grab zhat chair now!" The white creature ran forward and flipped the chair back over, pushing it to me.

I stepped up onto the chair, lifting him higher and I could hear strangled gasps. I pulled out my pocket knife from my boot and gave it to the bear. "Cut zhe rope! Go!" It jumped up and I could hear the sound of metal against taught rope. I looked up just as it snapped, the man taking in a sharp intake of air. We all fell over and the polar bear was crawling all over the blonde. "Why would you do that mister? It's not safe! You could have died!" I heard crying and panting. "That... that was th-the p-plan." My blood ran cold and I got up and grabbed him by the shoulders.

I shook him and looked into his eyes. "Zhat vas not an okay sing to do! Vhy vould jou do zhat to jourself?!" I started to tear up as I said it, realizing that he actually could have died if I didn't follow him home. "Because nobody cares!" He yelled at me. "You're the first person in over a hundred years that has finally noticed me! Over a hundred years! Do you know what it's like to be ignored?! Invisable?! Try your best to be noticed but all they do is overlook you?!" He started to cry as he screamed at me. I let go of his shoulders and was taken aback. "Over a hundred years?" I asked.

He sniffled. "One hundred and forty seven lonely years." He said. I didn't know what to say. All alone for that long. "Is zhat how much jou vant zhe loneliness to go avay? Jou vould kill jourself?" The blonde slowly got up from the floor and looked me in the eyes. "Please leave." He said quietly. I spotted a piece of paper on the ground. I didn't want to leave the poor soul all alone, but I had no choice. I walked to the stairs, picking up a piece of paper on the ground. He didn't notice as I put it in my pocket. As I left out the door, I turned and looked at him. "I vill be expecting to see jou at zhe next meeting."

His eyes widened and I saw a slight blush. "Really?" I nodded and walked away, pointing at him. "Don't ever do zhat again... please." I turned away and started the long walk to my car. I pulled out the piece of paper and read it, and cried. Why? Why doesn't he want to live? I thought and unlocked the car. I climbed in and started it, purposly driving by the blonde's house. I saw him sitting in his living room, holding his knees and reading. Something fluttered in my chest. Why do I feel like this? Why do I care? I glanced at the note one more time and I got the answer. I want to help him find the love he craves.

~Awe. Prussia cares! Sorta... Anyway, the 'love he craves' part is just supost to be family love. Or is it?