Blood and Tears

An Empty Spot. (Part 1)

~Gilbert POV.

America, or Alfred as he insisted to be called, slept on the couch that night. We had ended up talking all night and it was almost 5 in the morning. Instead of sleeping in my own bed, I wandered into Matthieu's room and curled up under the covers. I tried to sleep, but my mind kept taking me back to that moment when I turned to see him on the floor. All for me... I sniffled quietly and covered my face in my hands. I turned over and gazed at the empty side of his bed, missing his warm body next to mine. Kumajirou jumped up on the bed and curled up next to me, also smelling like his owner. I wrapped my arms around the soft warm bundle and held him close. Kuma didn't protest and I was gratefull.

I just needed to hold onto something that smelled like him. Eventually, I fell asleep. My dreams were filled with memories of Matthieu. Giving shy smiles, blushing to an impossible shade of red, laughing and crying. Then, his sleeping face. So peaceful and at ease. His eyes opened slowly and stared back at me. He smiled softly and put his hand over my cheek. It seemed so real, him standing next to me, sunshine flowing through the window. He kissed my forhead, then turned around to leave. "Vait! Vhere are jou going?" He turned and smiled at me, a bright smile. "I can't tell you Gil." He walked back over to me and leaned up and kissed my cheek, then my lips.

He backed away still smiling. "But, when I needed some one, you found me. You saved me and made me feel loved, made me want to live. I thank you for that." Tears jumped in my eyes. "Are jou leaving?" He smiled and shook his head. "That's not up to me. You can call it fate, or the will of god, but I won't leave. You might not be able to see me, but I'm still there." He stepped forward and held my hand. "You didn't leave me when I needed you so, I won't leave you when you need me." The dream turned black but I could still feel Matthieu's warmth. His sweet voice filled my ears in the darkness. "I'll be there for you like you were there for me."

I opened my eyes and the dream slowly faded away, his voice still ringing in my ears. Sunshine filled the window and I rolled over to look at the clock. I smiled at seeing the canadian designed clock, red and white with a red maple leaf in the centre. Below it the time was displayed with digital numbers. Almost one in the afternoon. Clutching Matthieu's pillow, I stumbled out of bed and down the stairs into the kitchen, shocked at the lack of smell in the almost empty house. I was so use to the smell of pancakes when I woke up in the morning. Without it, the house seemed dead. The light that had been chained by shadows was now gone, darkness filling the space.

The couch in the living room was empty, the sheets gone. Did I imagine last night? I dismissed that thought when I saw a scrap of paper on the coffee table. "Thank you for the place to sleep. It's almost 9, I will be back around 2. -Al." It read. I sighed and wandered into the kitchen, Kuma attached to my leg. "Gilbert, I'm hungry. Can we eat now?" I nodded and walked over to the fridge. I pulled out milk, eggs and butter, then got the flour out of the cubboard. I could almost feel Matthieu in the room with me, guiding me with the food. "Get a bowl, pour in the ingredients, and stir." I smiled to myself and made the food, unknowingly making extra.

I flipped the golden circles, placing them on three plates. Taking the plates in my hands, I set them at the table. I sat down, but something was missing. "Syrup silly. Can't have pancakes without maple syrup!" Matthieu's voice filled my head and I got up and grabbed it from the fridge. I poured it over the food, still not realizing there was three plates. I sat back and started to eat, Kuma also digging in. Something was unsettling me. I looked up and saw Matthieu's empty seat with a pile of pancakes in front of it. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized what I'd unknowingly done. I rested my head on the table and started to cry. Kuma crawled onto my lap and tried to comfort me.

I hugged the bear close, craving to be held back. Some time later, some one knocked on the front door. Kuma moved to my back and I walked through the house to the door. I opened it to see Alfred, England and France on the other side of the door. "Gilbert! Don't be rude! Invite them in!" I sniffled and moved to the side, gesturing for them to enter. I closed the door after France entered and walked them to the living room. England and France stared at the pictures of Matthieu I'd placed in the room. Sitting down on the couch, I did the same thing I'd seen Matthieu do countless times. I pulled up my knees and hugged myself. "Sit down."

All three men sat on the larger couch on the other side of the room. "Vhat do jou vant here?" I asked, voice horase. Alfred spoke first. "Well, I would like you to explain to them who Mattie was." I glared at him. "Is." I said, voice threatening. "Not was. He's not dead." I struggled to say the last word and my anger vanished. I bit my tongue and closed my eyes, tears managing to fall out of them. "Vhy do jou care anyway? All of zhis after a hundred and fourty seven years of ignoring him? It's a little late don't jou sink?" It was quiet, then France spoke. "You love 'im, non?" I nodded and more tears fell. "Then tell us." England said. I opened my eyes to look at them. "Tell us why you love him."

~I'm splitting this chapter into two parts because it's increadibly long!!!!!!! I was away at my friends birthday and she didn't have working wifi. It was fun though, we stayed up till three in the morning talking about hetalia and what countries we were with her cousin and brother.

Question time will be next chapter. Hope you enjoyed!