Blood and Tears

Where He Won't See.

When we arrived back at the cabin after getting groceries, we made pancakes and then spent the day outside, messing about in the snow. I would run around on top of the snow and Gilbert would tunnel under it, making a network of tunnels. Soon after, we went inside and made breakfast, sitting on the couch and watching tv for the rest of the day. The next morning we cleared the driveway and went for a walk. Gilbert got us lost. We arrived back at the cabin late at night, the snow swirling around us. We started up a fire in the fireplace and started supper. Gilbert sighed.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head. "Zhere is anozer meeting two days from now." I lay my head on his shoulder. "Do we have to go? It's not like they'll notice my absence anyway." Gilbert wrapped his arm around me and hugged my shoulders. We sat there in silence, the crackling of the fire in the background. "Da, ve have to." I sighed. "But I don't want to go back." Memories of what went on in the bathroom of my house filled my mind. "I want to stay here." I looked out the window. "It's quiet here." Gilbert laughed slightly. "I know. But ve have to. Ve can't just stop going to meetings, our countries vould suffer."

I sighed through my nose and slumped into Gilbert's chest. "Fine," I whined. "When do we leave?" I looked up at him and he kissed the top of my forehead. "Tonight. Don't vorry, I'll let jou sleep zhe vay zhere." I smiled. "Thank you." He nodded and picked me up, one hand behind my knees, the other supporting my back. We arrived at my room and Gilbert set me down. He gave me a kiss, then turned to leave. I smiled and turned into my room and shut the door and sighed. He makes me feel all fluttery... and... happy. I smiled wider. I haven't been happy in over a hundred years.

Then the voices came and took my happieness away. Awe, look at that! The little disapointment is gay. It said. "There's nothing wrong with that.." I said quietly. Cut the bull shit. You're lying to yourself. Look at your arms brat. Look at all the ugly scars, the ugly marks that YOU made. I bit my lip and the smile was gone from my face. Put your hands to your neck gay boy. It's still bruised. "Stop..." No. You stop. Look around, gay boy! Disappointment! Little nothing! Little piece of shit! Nobody cares! So why should you?! I fell to my knees and leaned against the door, trying to muffle my sobs.

"P-please. Go a-away." I hate to be the bearer of bad news, The voice said, putting emphasis on 'hate'. But as long as your breathing, I WON'T LEAVE. I started to sob quietly, looking over at my suitcase. Oh little disappointment~ Oh little disappointment~ The voice sang in my head. It grew louder until it was defening. "S-shut up." I said. Gay boy~ Gay boy~ It repeated. "There's nothing wrong with that." I said with more volume. Oh yes there is. Everything about it is wrong. I slowly got up from the floor and walked over to the suitcase. What are you going to do little coward?

I reached for the case and opened it hesitantly. The voices grew louder when I found the razor. Useless~ Pathetic~ Disappointment~ Gay boy~ Coward~ Just a few more, just a few more. I held the razor away from my body, the skin on my wrists tingling. "I-I can't..." Yes you can. Only a few more. "He'll see..." The voices laughed maniacally. Then cut somewhere he won't see. What he can't see, he won't know. I looked at my upper arms. Then my legs, and finally, my torso. I bit my tongue. I can't. But he won't see them. But what if he does? He won't, I can't let him.

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I removed my shirt. Just a few... I placed the cold blade on my left side, just above my ribs. Slowly, I ran the blade across to my other side, leaving an angry red line. I watched the blood run from it and soak into my pants. I ran the blade back, another red line oozing crimson liquid. The pain was excruciating, but masked the voices in my head. I let out a shaky breath and dropped the blade. I heard pliping noises as my blood hit the floor and I paniced. He can't see the blood! He can't find out! I grabbed my discarded shirt and wiped up the blood.

I opened the door, silently praying that Gilbert was asleep. His door was shut so I rushed over to the bathroom and locked the door. After cleaning and dressing my wounds, I went back to my room, changed into pajama's and slumped into the bed. I covered my face with my hands and cried. Why me? Why does the world hate me? Images of my brother flashed into my mind. Always the superior. The 'hero'. He's so blinded by  his ego, he doesn't notice me. His own brother, in pain every day! I turned over and flushed the thoughts from my mind. I need sleep. I sniffled.

~Shitty update is shitty. (-_-,) Sorry. Next chapter will be longer though! I have the best evile plot ever! (Yes I said evile.) Haha!

Question time! Alright... Let's see... What can I dig up from the depths of my mind? Hmmm... Okay! What is your favorite Hetalia 2P! and why?

Mine is either Oliver (2P!England) or (Think his name's James...) 2P!Canada. Oliver because, well, he's just fabulous! And 2P!Canada because he's just badass. He could give no fucks what-so-ever. \(^u^)/ Hope you enjoyed!