Blood and Tears

The Things the Voices Tell Me.

A few days later, I was released from the hospital. I sat quietly as Gilbert signed the release papers and drove me home. I watched the road ahead of us and didn't move. Finally Gilbert spoke. "I'm staying at jour house vith jou." I turned my eyes to his. "Why?" Not that I won't mind the company. He took his eyes off the road and glared at me. "Vhy do jou sink? To make sure zhat jou don't kill jourself." I nodded. Once we arrived, I went into the living room and layed down on the couch. "Hey, are jou alright?" I yawned. "I'm just tired." Gilbert nodded and sat next to me.

I must've dozed off because the next thing I know, Gilbert is carring me up the stairs to my room. I opened my eyes as he placed me in my bed. He didn't notice my eyes were open, so he turned to leave. Finally. "Prussia wait." He jumped and turned around, suprised to see me awake. "Please don't go." Why? Are you afraid of the dark? The voices mocked me. He smiled and lay next to me. "Alright." I closed my eyes and it was quiet for a while. "Canada, vhy did jou do zhat to jourself?" 

I smiled slightly. I'll tell him. He'll leave you. You'll be all alone. "If I tell you, will you leave?" It was quiet for a minute. "Do jou vant me to leave?" Yes. "No." I opened my eyes to look at him. "Vill jou tell me?" NO! "Yes." You absolute fool. So gullible. "I did it because it's the only way to get them to be quiet." Gilbert looked taken aback. He thinks you're a freak. As soon as you fall asleep, he'll leave you all alone. He stared at me for a bit longer before I bit my lip and faced the other way, tears filling my eyes. "You think I'm a freak. Or crazy. Or worse. Just like them."

I sniffled and hot tears rushed down my cheeks. "I'm not worth your time. Or anyone's for that matter." Useless. Pathetic. My hands twitched. That's exacly what you are. A waste of space. What are you? I closed my eyes and hugged my legs close. What are you?! I opened my eyes and looked at my hands. I asked you a quiestion. What are you? I closed my eyes and gulped. "I'm nothing..." I whispered. Damn straight you are. You don't matter at all, do you? "No..." Sobs wracked my body. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Canada?" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

"W-what?" All of the confusion was gone from his eyes, and all that was left was an emotion I was unfamiliar with. "I don't sink jour nosing." Lies. He's just saying that to boost his own ego, and you know it. "Yes you do. I'm worthless, pathetic, I can't do anything right, I'm a waste of space and-" I was cut off by Prussia's lips crashing into mine. I stiffened and my mind reeled. I slowly melted into the kiss and then Gilbert broke for air. "Don't talk about jourself like zhat." I could see tears in his eyes. "Don't cry Prussia." He laughed lightly. "It's Gilbert."

I looked away and blushed. "I know. It's just, I've never called some one by their human name." I felt Gilbert move slightly closer to me. I could feel the warmth through the blanket. "Vhat is jour name Canada?" I didn't respond. The last time I told some one my name was a long time ago. "Canada?" I turned to look at him agian. "Matthieu. My name's Matthieu." Gilbert smiled and kissed me again. "Vhat a beautiful name." I turned into him and curled up into his chest. He hugged me tightly. "Thank you Gilbert." I mumbled as I fell into the dark waters of sleep.

~Prussia POV~

I kissed him. Oh mein gott I kissed him. The thoughts raced through my head as Matthieu fell asleep curled up in my arms. He kissed back. Oh mein gott. Why did I kiss him? I like girls! Not guys! I looked down at his sleeping face. Don't I? He looked so peaceful and at ease. I sighed and looked out the window. A honey moon greeted me among a sky of twinkling stars. What did he mean, 'it's the only way to get them to be quiet'? Who's 'them'? I looked back down at Matthieu. Slowly, I moved away from him and climbed out of the bed. I put a pillow as a replacement and stiffled a laugh as he clung to it tightly.