His Mortal(Loki x reader)

Chapter 44

Loki still hasn't come from his room, but now he let's me into his space. He let's me be by his side why he tries and figures himself out again. He now keeps himself hygienic once again. Combing his hair and bathing. Since he doesn't leave his room, however, he doesnt always put on presentable clothes and remains in his lounge wear. Thor, being the caring brother that he is, even asks me about Loki's health and condition every single day. Loki does a little better every day. After I do what I do for the day, I always come back to Loki's room and he welcomes me back with open arms. I mostly don't do anything. I just remain in his presence as he goes through his train of endless thoughts. Sometimes he remains silent the entire time I'm in there and other times he's pacing back and forth ranting and venting his emotions. I try to be his guide at keeping a level head and a reasonable mind, but doing so doesn't always leave me out of the line of fire. More than enough times Loki has yelled or snapped at me in one of his fits of frustration, sometimes even making his blue skin and red eyes appear, but I always remind myself that he's going through a hard time right now and he needs a strong willed person to be patient and supportive of him. Of course, Loki always immediately recognizes what he's done and apologized profusely to me while giving me soft kisses. It's nice to know that he's trying to keep his temper under control and that he's trying to take my feelings into account as well. I see he's trying his best. For two weeks it has been like this, but I am patient.
However, I unfortunately am still dealing with my own problems. I still have these nightmares and they seem to be only getting worse. It's making me more than a little nervous and it's certainly draining the energy from me. I don't want to tell Loki, however, because he's already dealing with so much. He doesn't need anymore on his plate, but because of these nightmares, I make a conscious effort not to spend the night with Loki anymore. I know he'd like me to, but I know it would only trouble his mind more. Some nights are worse than others. These nightmares are becoming too much and I feel as though they are getting closer. So close that it's suffocating me, but I can't give in to the fear that's no doubt taking me over. I've become better than that. I've become stronger than that.
Tonight was one of the harder nights, unfortunately. Another horrible nightmare leaving me gasping for air and hanging my head in the palms of my hands. Honestly, at this point, what is the point of attempting to sleep? It seems my mind wasn't going to let me anyway. My mind just seems to always be setting off an alarm system throughout my body. I get out of bed and use the moonlight as my only lightsource as I stand in front of the mirror. Even as my room is shrouded in darkness, you could still clearly make out the prominent dark circles that have made their home underneath my eyes. My bright golden eyes have lost a luster to them as well, and now they look much more dull. There was no hiding them anymore.
I tried asking Beyla to cover them as best as she could with makeup, but at this stage, there was no helping them. Beyla keeps trying to convince me to just rest, but I keep trying to convince her that it wasn't possible. She doesn't attempt to argue anymore. Before, all she had for me was a lengthy scolding, but as time went by she has grown tired of saying the same old thing and getting no result, so she just leaves it be, though I'm sure she has plenty of thoughts going through her mind.
Maybe, tomorrow I shouldn't go out of my room. I'm much too tired... and Loki doesn't need to see me this way anyhow. Hmm... I'm going to need to leave to eat, however. Perhaps, I could get a servant to bring me food? Oh... who cares... I'm too tired to eat. Now that I think about it... when was the last time I ate food? I haven't been eating as consistently... I dont think.
I look closer at the mirror and now that I stare at myself closer, it does seem that I have lost some weight. My nightgown does feel looser on by body and my face does look a bit more thinner. Lack of sleep no doubt made my skin tone a bit more dull and paler than it should be. Odd... I hadn't felt hungry or the craving for any food. Anytime I eat food now it was mostly out of routine and, clearly, even then I let it slip.
I sigh and shrug. Clearly, I let this slip past me, and despite everyone else being around me every day, they haven't said anything, so it must not be that noticeable. Honestly, it's these dark circles that are the most noticeable thing about me right now. They're hideous, but unavoidable.
... yes... perhaps it's best if I stay in for tomorrow...
I slowly and sluggishly lumber back to my bed. I lay back down, only to stare at the ceiling. I sigh and let my eyes drop back closed, trying to at least try to get some sleep, even though I know my mind won't let me. I let my mind wander. I think of Loki and how he's coping. He's doing better, but he still has this grudge he's not letting go of. He truly feels he's been cheated. That's kind of ironic considering who he is. Sometimes I forget Loki is God of Mischief and Lies. He's so tame now and it seems for as long as I've been here, he hasn't felt the need to do anything to outlandish. Of course, that doesn't completely hide his true nature. It will always come out one way or another. I will never forget when he tried to steal my eyes those years ago. That was a little taste of something I knew he held deep inside of him and still possess to this day. Loki is a natural manipulator...it must feel even more humiliating to find out you've been tricked by your own family. Nothing is more bitter than the taste of your own medicine.
*tap* *tap* *tap*
I was cut from my thoughts by the sound of tapping. I snap my eyes open, moving only my eyes to look around. All I see is the darkness of my room with the moonlight filtering in. I wait to hear it again. I sit up slowly after I hear nothing for a few moments.
*tap* *tap*
My head jolts in the direction of the window where I heard the tapping come from. What is that? How can anything be tapping on my window? It's so high up...
I cautiously and slowly crawl across my bed toward the direction of the window, but I was too hesitant to get any closer so I just leaned forward to see if I could see what was making that noise without having to get close to the window.
*tap*....*tap* *tap*
I'm looking directly at the window, but I can't see anything. I bit my lip and reluctantly crawled off my bed. I slowly made my way to the window. I pulled back the transparent white curtains.
There was nothing...
I peered out the window. Still nothing. I even went as far as to open the window, but I saw nothing. I furrowed my eyebrows and huffed. What was that?
I peered at the sky. It's still dark out, but a little sliver of orange is starting to appear over the horizon. Then, out of nowhere, a large guest of wind picked up blowing onto me head on and into my room. The wind was so strong it knocked me off my feet and onto my floor. I gave a surprised yelp and groaned a bit. I stood back up and almost immediately as it started, it stopped again.
I cautiously walked back over to the window peering out it again and this time the scene was similar, except for one lone hooded figure standing far below in the fields. They were staring directly at my window. I stared back at them and it was clear that we could see each other and we both knew it. After another few moments of staring, the figure turned as if he was going to walk away, but he just... disappeared. I got the shivers at just seeing that.
I closed my window and the curtains, not wanting to deal with that anymore. I started to make my way back to the bed, but froze in my spot at the change in atmosphere in my room. It was almost pitch black with no moonlight, and it was like the shadows it the room were darker than usual and moving... like they were breathing... and reaching out for me.
The change in the room scared the wits out of me and I just knew I didnt want to stay in there any longer. I didn't know what was going on, but i now felt threatened, I just dont know by what. I immediately left my bedroom, not spending another moment trying to figure it out. I tried to stay calm, but my heart was beating a mile a minute. I needed to catch my breath. I needed to be around someone... anyone, but... I know they're all asleep. Well... except for Hiemdall, but after seeing that strange hooded figure earlier, I don't feel it is safe to make that journey to him. I just decide to go to my brother's room, surely he won't mind me waking him up to seek a little comfort from him. Unfortunately. He's on the entire other side of the grounds where a lot of the soldiers sleep. I sigh, but I know that he makes the trip to see me all the time, so it shouldn't be such a big deal for me to, especially since I've made the trip a few times myself. I make my way down the corridors as I pat my bare feet along. I hold my hands to my chest and my eyes dart around me. I'm on alert and I'm afraid. I just take a deep breath as I move along. As I walk, it's almost as if the shadows are watching me. I can feel their stares boring into my body. I quicken my pace, but that doesn't relinquish my anxiety.
After what feels like an eternity, I finally made it to my brother's chambers. I knock quietly. "George..." I whisper through the door. "George. It's me..." I quietly open the door to his room and step in quietly. I quietly meander over to his bed whispering. "George, I had a nightmare and-..." i stopped myself as I peered down at George's sleeping form...only... he wasn't alone. That woman... what did he say her name was?... um... Eira! That's it. She was sleeping right there next to him. She was cuddled up next to him with her hand on his chest. One of his arms was wrapped around her while the other was placed over her hand on his chest. They were under the blankets, but it didnt seem like that had any clothing on, and if they did then it wasn't very much.
I silently had a little tantrum. "Bloody hell, George." I groan very softly. The one time I go out of my way to seek my brother's love and attention, it's currently being occupied by a strange woman I know nothing about. I'm happy my brother has someone in his life, but I'm currently dreading it considering that I now have to walk all the way back through those dreaded hallways with no luck of feeling any better about the situation.
I frown at my brother and his love's sleeping forms. I wonder if he'd notice if I'd slip into bed right next to him and ignore the fact that Eira is there too. But he's probably nude... and he clearly wants privacy with her. I really can't be that clingy of a sister just because of a nightmare and some spooks that I'm not sure are even real. I'm a bloody adult for crying out loud. I sigh in defeat and accept that I have to go. I make my way to his door.
"...(y/n)?" George sleepily groaned out. I turn and see George's eyes were barely open, staring at me. It was clear he was not fully awake.
"Go back to sleep." I whisper to him.
He hums groggily. "Are... are you... alright?" He was drifting in and out of sleep, barely staying awake.
"I'm fine. Go to sleep." I tell him again and this time, he listens and I almost immediately hear him lightly snoring again. I sigh and shake my head before exiting his room. I began my journey back to my side of the grounds. This time around it was no easier to walk through the corridors as it was before. This time the shadows seem more active, aggressive almost. They're whispering to me as I walk along. I speed up my pace, but the whispers only grow louder and the shadows begin to follow me. Their flat forms sliding across the walls after me. I begin to run and they only follow just as fast. Now it seems I'm sprinting for my life and I hear the shadows basically yelling at me, but they're voices still holding a breathy whisper to it. I'm not sure where I'm going now, I'm just running. Running to get away as the shadows chase after me. As if the situation couldn't get any more terrifying, the shadows looked to be reaching out from the walls after me, appearing less flat and more life like. I try running harder, but the shadows are gaining speed. They start combining together to form one large shadow of darkness that envelopes the entire corridor as I try to run away. The entire hallway goes dark, even in front of me and I come to a screeching halt, seeing no point into going any further. The darkness has me trapped. It's engulfing its entire surrounds and inches closer to me as it slides across the floor. It's taunting me now with its suddenly slow pace. I try to make myself as small as possible, but it's no use. I'm trapped and I see the shadows reaching out to me from the walls and ceiling as it gets closer to me. I dont even have the courage to scream, I'm so paralyzed with fear. I just watch horrified as the cold shadow climbs up my body and completely engulfs me in darkness.