His Mortal(Loki x reader)

Chapter 45

Y/N's POV

I've been in and out of conciousness for quite awhile now. I've woken up several times with different people above me trying to talk to me and ask me questions. Most of the time it was a healer, Loki, or George, but occasionally Thor or the Queen has appeared in my vision in an attempt to ask me questions. I only try and do my best to answer in my dazed and out of it state, but it only takes a few moments before I lose myself to the darkness again.
....
It took awhile, but I finally did wake with the feeling that I could manage to stay awake. I had slight chest pains, but otherwise, I felt fine. I let out a harsh breath that I didn't even know was residing in my lungs. The release of air made my chest ache a bit.
"Take slow breaths, (y/n). It will be less harsh on your body." George's voice alerts my attention. I look at him with a soft smile, glad that I could look at him without having to fight for conciousness to maintain simple eye contact.
"I'm fine..." I muttered out, but kept the smile on my face.
"You'd say that even if you weren't." George commented.
"But I am." I said, having a little more power to my voice. I take a deep breath and attempt to sit up. George was already directly beside me helping me sit up and making sure I didnt unexpectedly fall back down. As much as I wanted to protest and tell him how it wasn't necessary, I stayed quiet knowing that it would be better on his mind to know and feel he was helping in some sort of way. I also didn't want to admit that sitting up made me a bit dizzy for a moment and having his supporting arms reassuring that I wouldn't topple over, was very nice. I let out a relieved sigh when I was comfortably sitting up.
"Much better." I commented with a small smile at my brother.
"Do you need anything?" He asks me. I shake my head. "No. I'm fine for now." He nods silently, but has a small frown on his face. I expect him to say whatever was on his mind, like always, but he doesnt say anything. I only expect he will eventually tell me what's upsetting him when he's mentally prepared to. I look out a window that's beside my bed. It looks like it's the middle of the day, judging by the position of the sun. I'm glad that I didn't wake at night time. Then I would have become nocturnal and it would be very difficult to regain proper structure in my sleeping schedule. I wonder how long I was sleeping for. I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm actually very grateful that I was able to get some much needed rest. No doubt those dark circles are still under my eyes, but I find myself already feeling much better than before. Not great, but better.
"(Y/n)..." George started, his voice soft. "I'm sorry."
I look at him confused. "For what?"
"For not being there when you needed me. I remember you coming into my room that night. I don't remember exactly what happened or what you said to me, but I remember you being there and after I found out you were attacked, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew you wouldn't have come into my room in the middle of the night for no reason and I should've taken things more seriously and asked you what was going on. Then maybe things... would have turned out differently." George explained shaking his head slightly with a guilty look.
"You are much too hard on yourself, George." I tell him. "That night you were clearly having a wonderful time with that girl you're always with. I was only there because I thought I was being a child too afraid to sleep by herself in the dark. When I saw that she was there with you, it was clear that I came at a wrong time and i should not have been there, so I tried to leave, but you woke up and caught me there. I told you nothing was wrong and to go back to sleep. You did ask me if I was alright. Even in your barely conscious sleepy state, you still asked me if i was alright and making sure I was okay. You did fine, George. You didn't know what was going to happen and neither did I."
"(Y/n), what... did happen? Everyone is having a hard time understanding what exactly happened that night you were attacked and how they managed to get to you without anyone noticing including Heimdall. Heimdall is truly confused and upset about this entire thing. No one knows and we've been trying to get answers from you, but you were never awake long enough for us to make sense of any of it." George said sitting on the side of my bed. He holds my hand, but it only seems like he's doing that to comfort himself.
I was silent a moment, biting my inner cheek in thought. Recalling the incident and making sense of it seems difficult itself, considering nothing made sense and I am also confused. I suppose the only thing I can do is say exactly what happened without trying to make sense of it. That will only confuse me further. "Well... I was still awake because it was one of those times I couldn't sleep. I tried to, but... then I was disturbed by a tapping on my window..." I recounted the entire situation to George, even deciding to retell the part where I entered his room. He stared at me seriously, his eyes giving me their full attention as he processed the information I was telling him. "...and then it all just went... dark. The next thing I knew I was here fighting to stay awake." I finished with a sigh and George remained silent. He stayed in his same position, not even moving. His gaze moving downward to the sheets is the only thing that changed. He was in deep thought. I wondered if he is trying to make sense of it all or if he is already coming up with his own theory. I look at him expectantly, patiently waiting for him to respond to my story. He seemed to pull himself from his own thoughts as his eyes snap back up to mine. He just gives a small halfhearted smile and pats my hand gently. "Don't worry. We'll figure this out." He says standing to his feet. "For now, rest and I will go depart this to Odin and Frigga."
"O-oh. Okay... are you not going to tell me your thoughts on the matter?" I ask him.
"It doesn't matter. I don't quite make sense of the situation, but I think once we all start discussing it then it'll start to become more clear. Right now I am only speculating a few things, but I can't be sure. Don't worry about it. You focus on getting better." George ruffled my hair.
"I told you I'm fine." I say with a pout as I try to fix my hair. "Shall I remind you that I'm not a child anymore?"
"No, you are just my mischievous little sister who seems to like getting herself in trouble." George smirked.
"Go. Shoo. You are no longer wanted." I say pointing to the door and waving him off. He only laughs at me and puts his hands up in surrender.
"Alright. Alright. I'm going." He said amused as he opens the door to leave. I see out the door Loki leaning against the wall in the hall. The smile on George's face falls, but he remains emotionless. "She's awake now." He simply muttered and walked out the room not even waiting for a reply from Loki, who immediately entered the room before the door could even fully shut.
He smiled as he saw me sitting up, fully alert in bed. He now calmly walked to my bedside, sitting on the edge. His eyes only held relief and love. He took my hand kissing the back of it as he held it firmly in his grasp. "How are you?"
"I am fine. Thank you." I smiled at him.
His lips flattened into a line as he tried to keep on his smile. It seemed my response wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Are you sure?" He says trying again, his face contorting into one that looked like worry or guilt. Perhaps a mixture.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask.
"You can be honest with me if your not." He says gently running his thumb over the back of my hand.
My eyebrows furrowed. "Loki, I'm alright. Really. Why are you insisting so much?"
He sighs, looking down at our intertwined hands. "Because..." he said starting to play with my fingers. "Noone had noticed your declining health until we found you after the attack and brought you here. Not even me..." he said with guilt pouring from his voice. "You were with me every single day and I didn't notice your body slowly wasting away. I was only focused on myself... and you were right beside me, helping me through my torment and I did not see that you needed my help as well."
"Loki, I think you're overexaggerating a bit..." I say softly with a chuckle, but he did not find that amusing. His eyes only met mine with pure worry and hurt. He was very serious and he was bound to make that known.
"I am not... I am quite serious and this is equally a serious matter." He said firmly. "Your body grows thinner everyday and the dark circles under your eyes dull your complexion. You clearly have not been eating or sleeping. I know these are vital components to mortal health. You must sleep and eat every day, regardless if you want to or not, otherwise it will end in your death.... I do not want you to die, (y/n). I love you too much to let you die... I am only sorry I did not notice earlier."
"It's alright, Loki. You were going through a difficult time. I understand." I told him with a small smile.
"It is still no excuse." He told me.
"I'm fine. Really. If anything, all this sleep is making me feel much better already. I promise." I told him confidently.
His face showed he still wasn't convinced, and his next words showed he wasn't letting it go. "Why weren't you eating or sleeping?"
"I... guess it slipped my mind." I say with a shrug.
"You mean to tell me that you forgot to fulfill your body's basic needs? Needs that you have been tending to all your life and that your body should be reminding you of." Loki was not having it.
"Well... when I was so busy or stressed that... I suppose I didn't notice I was hungry or I just lost my appetite. I don't know. Eating wasn't something I was keeping track of. All I wanted was to make sure you and Thor were okay. Nothing else mattered to me." I sputtered out.
"Your needs do matter, love. What about your sleeping? Surely it's impossible for you to forget about that." He asked me.
"N-no... I don't forget to sleep. I just can't seem to, despite trying so hard every night." I sadly sigh.
"Are you still having nightmares?" He asked tightening his hold on my hand.
I nod silently.
"I knew these nightmares were getting out of hand the moment they started spanning from days to weeks. I should have done something when I had the chance so long ago." Loki said frustrated as he ran a hand through his hair.
"You can't blame yourself for everything." I told him
"No, but I can blame myself for being useless and neglectful. I could have done something and I should have." He said seriously.
"They're only nightmares, Loki..."
"Nightmares that have been tormenting you to the point of insomnia and exhaustion."
"Honestly, what could you have possibly done? Noone can fix nightmares. They just are what they are."
"Perhaps on Midguard, but you are on Asguard now. Not only that, but you are with me. I'm sure I had several spells that could have helped with your nightmares."
"You think your are just all powerful, don't you?" I smirk at him and he mirrors my smirk.
"I am all powerful and once you start having more faith in me, then I can prove it to you." He chuckled and gently gave a soft kiss to my lips. He runs a hand through my hair as he looks deeply into my eyes.
"Tell me, love. What's in your nightmares that's so horrifying that it keeps you awake at night, hm?" He asks softly.
"I don't know. I can never remember once I wake." I tell him with a frustrated sigh. "I wish I could, because then perhaps I'd be able to find the source of the problem, but I can't and it drives me mad."
"I see..." Loki ponders. He had that look on his face. The look that shows up every once in awhile. The look where his eyebrows are knit together slightly and his lips are in a thin line. A look that borderline confusion, but not quite. His eyes are staring directly at me, but he isn't looking at me at all. His face is the face where he's conflicted with himself.
"Loki?" I ask him.
His eyes loose their far away look as they focus back onto me.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask him.
"It's nothing, love. Just deep thought." He says reassuringly, but I won't have it. It's not often that face makes an appearance and I want to know what it means. I don't respond verbally. I just give him a look that shows I won't accept his answer and he sighs.
"I possibly have away to find out about what's been happening in your head, but I don't feel comfortable trying it." Loki said simply.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Magic. A particular spell." He said.
"Naturally. That's no different than what you do with everything else." I said crossing my arms.
"This isn't a small spell that replicates your image or gets rid of nightmares. This is a spell that delves deep into your mind and can reveal some of your darkest secrets of you let it. This spell can search through your mind and find things you may have long forgotten. Which is why it would be very useful to use it so perhaps we could find out exactly what's happening and what you saw. Maybe find out more information than you know yourself." Loki said.
"Then what's stopping you from using it?" I ask him and he inhales deeply through his nose and exhales with a sigh.
"This spell is not a simple kind and I cannot promise that it would be harmless either. I... told myself that I wouldn't try to tamper with or alter your mind in any way again. Not after what happened the first time. I truly did feel guilty the first time.... Trying it again, failing, and letting you get hurt and knowing full well what could happen? Well.... I dont think I could forgive myself at that point." Loki didn't even look in my direction. It seemed he had lost himself in his own head once more. I can only assume he's remembering all those years ago.
"Even if it's my choice?" I ask him softly.
"It's still too risky."
"Going another way may take too long if whoever is trying to get to me is getting this bold and aggressive." I point out to him. He only hums in response. I look at my hands in my lap. I honestly didn't know what to say. I personally didn't want to do the spell either, but at the same time it wasn't going to help my health or safety any of I kept putting this off. I look out the window. I see children playing outside in the grass. There were three of them. Two boys and one girl. They were chasing each other around, while it seems one boy was holding a lizard. I smile at the scene. It just seemed so wholesome. I miss being a child and having that innocence. I miss not caring about big things in the world and the worst thing that could possibly happen that day was not being able to go outside and play because it was raining. I miss when the only monsters that existed were the ones that liked to hide underneath the bed or in the closet. I remember when the worst wound you could possibly get from the world was a scraped knee. As a child, you don't ever realize that things could get worse or harder. As a child, if something bad happens then that's the worst thing ever... for the next 10 minutes. Then you completely forget about it and move on to whatever else has caught your short attention span. Of course, kids are absolutely brilliant and can catch things sometimes adults can't, which is amazing. Sometimes they're highly underestimated, but perhaps sometimes we just want to preserve what innocence they have left when they start to grow older. Whatever the case, life just doesn't look the same when you get older. I wonder what I would see if I saw the world for the first time again.
"Loki?" I say not even looking at him. I only keep my eyes trained outside at the children with a small smile. I feel his eyes on me. "Do you want children?"
He doesn't respond for a moment. He follows my line of sight out the window and to the children. "You want to have a child?"
"Yes... I do." I sigh fondly at the thought.
"We aren't even married yet, love." He tells me.
"I know." I say now looking at him. His eyes are fixed on me with a soft look. He has a small smile. "Perhaps one day?"
"Yes. One day we will marry and we will have a child." He says this with the most certain tone and I can tell that he wants this as much as I do.
"Well, Loki..." I start, bringing this back around to our previous conversation. "If we don't figure out who's doing this soon, then who's to say we will ever get the chance to have a family?"
"..." he saw what I did and he did not find it clever. His lips pursed and he let out a frustrated huff through his nose. I only stare back at him.
"How about this, we talk about it with my-er... the queen and king and we will all decide as a group from there?" He offered. I personally found this option quite fair and reasonable. It would give me time to think this through anyhow. I nod.
"Alright. That sounds like a reasonable idea." I tell him.
He smiles and gives a kiss to my temple. "Good. Now you can rest more."
"I'm tired of resting." I pout to him. "I've been in and out of conciousness so much that I'm just happy to stay awake long enough to carry on a conversation with you."
"Alright. Alright. Tell me then..." he chuckles.
"What?..." I ask raising an eyebrow.
"Tell me more about this child you want to have."

Hello, everyone. Long time, no see. A bit of a short chapter too. I hope everyone is doing alright. My first month of college has been going well, not that you care to know, but I'll share anyway. I hope you guys don't hate me too much for not uploading, but I didn't forget about you. Anyway, I'll make this short, I'm going to start heading in the direction of wrapping this story up. I'm not sure how it's going to go yet. I just know the end result I want. If you guys have any ideas then I'd love some inspiration I could tie in with my resolution. Anyway, I hope you guys have a wonderful day and I'll see you in the next chapter! Toodles!