Chapter one

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   I had a lot of personality as a child

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   I had a lot of personality as a child. I was always wearing yellow and laughing at the world.
   That was when I liked California. When I loved surfing and the ocean more than anything. The ocean was my best friend.
   I was six when I got my first camera. It was the greatest present I had ever received. I took pictures of my mom in her blue sweater and my dad in his green and yellow hat. My baby brother always tried to take the camera from me but I never let him touch it.
   I was eight when it happened. I was in the back seat taking a picture of the lights outside of the window. They shimmered as the cold rain fell softly.
   I heard my mom scream. I looked over at Tommy, my little brother. He was asleep. I always wonder if he ever even woke up.
   I did. I woke up in the hospital the next morning. That's when my cousin Lilly explained to me what had happened. She was crying. I guess I'd cry too if I had to tell an eight year old her parents and baby brother were dead.
   I went home with her. She lived a few towns over and away from the coast. She was nice and I liked her husband all right.
   I just never felt right there. It didn't feel like home. The ocean felt like home. And every once in a while I would capture the feeling of home in a photo.
   But never permanently. It always faded away. I longed for a real home. I promised myself I would find it someday. And I never broke promises. Even ones to myself.

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