Snapshot // Sodapop and Dallas

Chapter 23

Austin promised not to say a word. Not until I figured things out. But I needed to talk to both of the boys. This was something I needed to get out. I needed to know how Dally felt and I needed to tell Soda the truth. First, was Dally.

I knocked on Bucks door and he came within the next thirty seconds shirtless and hungover. "What's up Jimi?" He asked. Little nickname he gave me after Jimi Hendrix. Makes sense and I had to admit, I liked it.

"I'd Dally here?" I asked.

"Yeah up in his room." He pointed up the stairs.

"He's alone, right?" I questioned. The thought of me walking in on Dally and another girl was enough to make my stomach sick.

"Yeah he's alone. Hadn't brought a girl here in a couple months actually, man. I don't know what's up with him." I ignored him and made my way to Dallas's room. I knocked and I heard his voice tell me I could come in. I walked in slowly and saw him shirtless with his jeans on.

"Hendrix? Geez man I thought you were Buck." He quickly slipped on his white tank. "Are you okay?" I slightly grinned at his concern. It was comforting.

"No," was all I could make out before I started crying. He got up quickly and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Hey what happened? Someone hurt you?" His voice was starting to get more venomous the more scared he got.

"Not exactly," I said moving myself from his grip. I anxiously ran my fingers through my hair. "How do you feel about me?"

"What?"

"How do you feel about me, Dallas?" I asked again.

He didn't answer. Just stood ten feet away from me and looked at me. I waited for an answer and finally I closed my eyes and shook my head in frustration.

"This isn't fair," I mumbled.

"What isn't fair?"

"This!" I screamed. I was getting angry. "You and me and the way you make me feel! It isn't fair Dallas! I should love Soda and only Soda!" I was yelling so loud by the end it was deafening.

"So why does it matter how I feel, man!" He yelled back.

"Because!"

"Why!"

"Because!" I screamed again and my voice cracked. "Because I'm in love with you too." This time I didn't scream, but somehow it was louder than anything I had ever said. Dallas walked over and put his hands on my face. I was hoping he'd kiss me and hoping he wouldn't at the same time.

"Find out what you want, then we will finish this." He commanded and then walked away. He walked out the door and I stood there in shock. I let another tear fall and knew I had to talk to Soda. It would break him. It would break me. But I had to.

I took as long as I could walking to the Curtis house. I kept trying to figure out how to say what I needed to say, but I couldn't. I knocked three times and Ponyboy opened the door. He said something to me, but I couldn't hear him. I just walked into Sodas room. He was sitting on the end of his bed taking off his shoes. He had just gotten back from the DX and was most likely about to take a nap.

"Hey baby, you okay?" He asked noticing the same look I'm guessing Dally saw as well.

"When I went to Texas Dally and I kissed." I blurted out and he raised his eye brows in shock. He didn't respond. Just sat up and waited for me to continue. "I love you," I sat down beside him and grabbed his hand. "I'm so in love with you it hurts. When I kiss you I feel like I'm the only girl in the world. And just sitting here with you I feel so content Soda. I really do love you." I kept holding my hand but he looked down at the floor.

"Do you want to be with me?" He asked in a quiet and scratchy voice.

I winced at his question. "I love you." Was all I said.

"Do you want to be with me or not, Henna?" He asked again, this time getting frustrated.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Do you want to be with him?"

"I don't know," I said again.

He stood up and scoffed as he walked to his dresser.

"Do you him?" He asked angrily. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want him to be mad but I understood why he was.

"Yes," I chocked out knowing my tears were to fall any minute now.

"But you still love me?"

"Yes," I said again.

He sighed and then sat back on the bed. He grabbed my hands just as I did to him earlier and forced me to look him in the eyes. I blinked so my tears would fall and I would be able to see him.

"Hey," he whispered and wiped a tear. "I can't blame you, baby. I knew he loved you. We all did but the gang didn't say anything cause they knew it would drive me wild." He wiped another tear away from my eyes and this time kept his hand there. "I can't blame you, I messed things up when Sandy came back." He shook his head disappointed at himself. I didn't say anything. "Go figure out what you want. I'll be here when you do." He promised. He pulled me in and kissed me softly and I held on to the kiss as long as I could.

"I do really love you Sodapop Curtis."

"I know you do baby. I love you too."

With that I kissed him again and then got the courage to walk out. I saw Pony and Johnny sitting on the couch when Soda and I walked out and then there he was. Dally was standing in the door way. I glanced at Soda and then at Dally. Finally I just ran out in anger. I was tearing this gang apart. This family. They were great before I came along and I messed them up. I was looking for a home and I found one. And I made it turn into hell.

When girls need advice on boys, they go to their best friend. Well, it isn't that easy for me. Austin, Johnny, and Two-bit would tell me to go to Dally. Ponyboy, Darry, and Steve would say choose Sodapop. I didn't have a fair person to go to. Not anyone knew both of them as well as the gang.

Except one.

I knew what I had to do. I needed to go to my best friend.

I ran home and packed my bags quickly. I wasn't going to be long. Just long enough to get the answer I needed. I ran to the DX to find my car and I hoped in quickly and drove off. On my way exiting Tulsa, I saw the Curtis home. I glanced over and watched it vanish and then never looked back. I was going somewhere. I was going to my best friend.