This can't be happening.
It just can't.
I can feel my innards failing and my vision going black. My hands grow cold and clammy in fear.
Lymphoma cancer? All I want to do is eat properly and live a good, long life. But according to my body, I can't.
(This is where the medical information starts. Keep reading if you want to know what Lizzy is diagnosed with)
I did the research, and I'm not happy with what I found. Follicular Lymphoma cancer is not curable, but treatment is still available to keep it at bay.I'll have to take several blood tests over the course of a year. It's to check to see if the white blood cells have increased abnormally, and if the red blood cells decreased. This must be why I feel tired so often.
Antibody therapy to slowly kill the cancer cells, but it can be harmful to healthy cells, too. Though it'll help my immune system to kill it off as well.
And the great and almighty chemotherapy. Can't wait for the hair loss!
If you don't know what chemo is, it's a type of drug treatment that destroys growing cells, including cancer cells. It works almost the same as antibody therapy, but it also attacks healthy cells, such as those for hair and the intestinal lining. That's where hair loss comes in.
(This is where the medical information ends. Now that you've read it, the rest of the story should make sense)With this being a big deal, I can barely leave the hospital. Lewis comes in for regular visits and gives me something to pass the time, like my laptop of something. Doctors say I'm not allowed to have my phone. Stupid. I don't see a reason why I shouldn't have my phone. Is it because the outlet is too far away? I have no clue.
Since they told me the news, I haven't seen Will, and that's almost three days. Lewis and Ryan have tried calling him, pm-ing and dm-ing but nothing is working. It only makes me even more anxious and worried. Will is usually around when things like this happen, but now he just... disappeared.
I want to see him. I've never had a stronger feeling than this. He's got to come and see me again. He can't just...
There I go again. Jeez, when will I stop being such a teenager? I don't need relationships right now! Will isn't my priority. I need to stay focused on being alive.
And to find out what that dream, or memory, meant. It felt as real as a memory. And as fake as a dream. Answers are needed for the questions I have, but what I need right now is patience.
And let me tell you, I have absolute zero patience when it comes to getting answers. But Will might be going through something right now so I don't want to pressure him.
Lewis walks back inside the hospital room, looking more shaken than I've ever seen him. I don't blame him. After hearing that his only blood-related family has an incurable cancer, I'd be freaking out, too.
"Hey, Lewis", I greet him as he walks over. He nods and sits next to the bed.
"I heard the doctors", he began. "They said that they'll keep you here for another week until they get medicine they prescribed for you."
I frown. "A week? Is that how long it takes to get medicine? I can't stand being in this madhouse for that long."
"It's not that bad", Lewis said. "Madhouse or not, you're staying here, doctor's orders."
Huffing, I roll my eyes and flop back onto the pillows. "This sucks. I never asked for this, and yet here I am!"
Lewis reaches out and grabs my hand reassuringly. "Life isn't always fair, Lizz. We just have to learn how to leap over the hurdles."
I glare at him. "Stop it with that kind of talk. You know I get annoyed by it."
He sighed. "I know, but what else am I supposed to say? You're diagnosed with cancer, Will hasn't been around, and... ugh, I just can't!" He banged his fist against the wall, making me scream. "Lewis! Stop! You'll hurt yourself!"
"What other choice is there?!", he yelled back. "You're dying, and acting as if it's not a big deal! But it is! I just..." Tears began to stream down his face and he covered it with his hands. "I'm just so stressed right now, Lizz."
My heart was still racing from his outburst. I had never seen him so angry before. And what's this feeling...
Is it guilt?
I hesitantly place a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "Lewis... I know you're suffering right now, but I want you to do something for me."
He shook his head, but I continued.
"I want you to enjoy the moments we have together. I don't know how much longer I'll last, but please don't let that stop you from being you."
He looked up at last, staring at me through puffy red eyes.
"Y-you're not scared..?"
"Why would I be?", I said. "I didn't wish for this, but I'm not scared."
Lewis leaned his head back and covered his face again, huffing. "Lizz. You know better than anyone on how much I love you. Don't you know how much it'll hurt me if you... Ya know... leave? I can't bear such a feeling."
I gently grabbed his arm, making him look at me. "I don't plan on dying anytime too. This situation is unfixable, I know that. But you have to stay strong. For yourself, your friends...", I leaned forward a bit. "For me."
He looked away, clearly annoyed. "How can I be strong? You're my only family left."
"That's why I'm telling you this!", I say, agitated. "Stay strong so that you can overcome the future obstacles, just like you told me. If you start now, then yo-".
A slam interrupts me, making me and Lewis yell in surprise. The door had swung open and hit the wall. Standing in the doorway...
Was Will.
"Lizz...", he breathed. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
A/N
Hey guys!
Sorry on the delayed chapter! School started for me so later chapters will be slow, but don't worry! I have plenty of ideas for this story!I hope you liked it! Please vote if you enjoyed, comment what you thought, and share with friends and family! Thanks!
Peace out!✌
-Tori
(All medical information was found in the following link: https://www.gazyva.com/patient/flfl/what-is-fl.html)
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