Umm yeah,
Please comment and vote :)
Just have to say real quick, had conversation with my grandma about 50 Shades of Grey, she may have hinted to wanting to read it, saying it was 'sexy.'
Apparently it was circulating at one of there clubs and the initiator was none other than a 80year old woman!! (Completely adds new meaning to the title 50 Shades of Grey)
Now the question is, how to look at my grandparents in the same way again and steer her away from the book.
I'm just saying....you know....my grandad has a pacemaker... I don't think he can handle-
USER HAD TO STOP COMMENTING AS IMAGES IN HEAD CAUSED HER BRAIN TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST.
Hope’s POV
I carefully swivelled away from the bar with drink number… drink number ‘x.’ God, Mr Flank was right, Algebra does come in useful.
Well, whatever number it was it was pretty high, straw up nose is not how to drink, but the bubbles are pretty, especially under the blue light.
“Hey, watch it!” What’s his problem? Last time I checked bump and grind was a dance move. Okay, so maybe I forgot the grind bit and emphasised the bump to a tackle, but it was supposed to be a fun place.
“Oh, don’t worry honey; I will definitely be watching… it!” Wow, where did that come from, I now doth the confidence juice. Twirling the straw in my drink and leaning forward slightly to take a sip and flop my cleavage into his eye line. His eyes softened slightly but he continued to walk away, swaying his hips slightly, his shoulders raising as his arms stretched back and his thumbs traced the curve of the top of his peachy posterior before dipping below the waistline and tugging his jeans up, just in case it wasn’t obvious enough through the jeans just how delicious it was.
Sending me a wink over his shoulder he disappeared into the bodies of the crowd.
“Arse,” I muttered under my breath, “simply a beautiful arse.”
The bass of a new song flooded the dance floor.
Dragging my limp body with it.
Feeding me the thought that I had to dance. Drink sloshing around my glass, clutch under my armpit, heels kicked off under someone’s table, I was too drunk to care.
Blood began to pulsate through my veins, it’s hot liquid evaporating any conscious thoughts I may be having.
Drop clutch on table, there was a couple there, they looked responsible right? Actually the guy looked really cute…
Grace’s POV
It was too hot in here, and I don’t mean the temperature. My shag-dar was going off the chart, though that could be because of the alcohol. My motto is if it pours drink it.
Why had I not been here before? Ah, right, because it was new. Oh shit, it’s new, we’ve never been here before, what if all the really cute guys became creeps at closing time. Well, no different to any other club.
Where the fuck is Hope?
What is? Oh great, another guy grinding on me from behind, do I have a sign on my back saying ‘hump here?’
Jeez, he will not let go, “Listen Dickweed,” I spat. Damn this loud music. How to get his attention, ah, present more of myself. If I wasn’t as drunk as this, I probably would be aware that I was leading him on a little.
I grabbed his hands and reluctantly he allowed me to move them from my waist once he saw the direction I was going in. Removing a hand to swipe my hair away from my neck to give him access I allowed him to savagely and clumsily attempt to stimulate me, before turning my mouth to his ear. Dumb fuck thought I was returning the favour, “Listen Jackass, I get it, I’m a little drunk you’re drunk, we are not thinking as clearly right now, and we are in a club; grinding is the rules I get that. But please, when my back is facing you, it means I am not interested, and believe me, that is a feat because if you knew me…well.” I take a moment to inhale deeply, he smells of women’s perfume, I guess I’m not his first tonight.
“Yeah, somehow you didn’t strike me as a virgin.” The bitch spoke, does he not know who I am, never interrupt when ranting.
“Excuse me?!” I screeched in his ears making him back off a little, but not completely let go. This guy was swinging lower than his balls, did he not know who he was messing with?
“Hey baby, cool it, I just meant you look like you know how to have a good time.” Thinking he had successfully brushed me off he tried to resume his attack on my neck, groaning into me as if his horniness was contagious.
“First, don’t even think about ‘Hey babying’ me.” In my head I had these three girls in the background humming in agreement, giving the attitude head sway and clicking their fingers. “Second, cool it? As if you even got me hot. And third yes, I do know how to have a good time, which is why I’m getting away from you.” Satisfied with myself I began to walk away, but the bitch was still hanging on, what was I? A freaking piece of driftwood?
“Don’t be like that,” he pulled puppy dog eyes, does this guy not know that when to quit, “I can be fun, we can have fun, I know you liked it when I was doing that.”
So I had to give it to him straight.
“I don’t want to fuck you, so stop fucking with me and go find some streetlight to hump, that way you don’t have to worry about turning it on.”
Just then a fist popped out of nowhere and connected with the Bitch’s face, I heard the crack of his nose just before the beat dropped, suddenly I felt really hot.
And dizzy.
Was that blood?
Turning quickly on my heel before I shamed myself and was sick everywhere, getting a reputation like that at new club was not on my agenda.
Stumbling through the sweaty bodies and strobe lights, I decided my best choice at finding the toilet quick was to work my way around the edge of the club. Delicately placing one hand in front of the other on the sweating walls I slowly made my way along, just before I heard some hysterical cow shouting out, “You Bitch!” close by, “Leave my boyfriend alone!”
Feel sorry for whoever she’s talking to.
“He started it!” I laughed to myself at the drunkenly slurred childish retort used by the other bitch, “Maybe if you weren’t so hysterical all the time, I dunno, he wouldn’t look else cabbages.”
What the…
“What the fuck? Did you just say cabbages?”
“Yeah,” oh my gosh, this bitch was so drunk, she said cabbages? How does that even relate? “You… are a cabbage… a little wet…and I don’t mean in the pussy way… a little round, a little green, you know, don’t stand out on the plate, and then… you know… when a guy sees a carrot…which is me… well. His mind is freaking blown… it’s bright, slender… crunchy and full of flavour, how can you not want it on your plate?…I mean dick…no…I did mean plate.”
She brought it back, if this is her when she is drunk… My head turned in awe and then shook in disbelief.
Hope?
