wilderness | paul lahote

{09}

The rest of the day had gone by uneventful. Emily and Sam had arrived back by lunch. We all ate dinner together, except for Paul, who was missing once again. And I had done some reading before sleep.

The night had been peaceful. I finally had gotten a good night sleep, without any thoughts or dreams. I tried my best to stay levelheaded. Doing my typical breathing exercises - that I had learned when I was little, to cope with my issues - whenever I felt stressed, anxious, angry.

The next day rolled around and I was sitting in the garden with Emily, soaking up the sun that had welcomed us. It was cold, regardless, but it still had felt nice to let the sunrays caress our skin. I was envious of Emily as she sat there, her russet skin glowing in the sunlight, putting me and my pale skin to shame.

"You're gonna help me bake some pasties for tonight's bonfire." She said, as she lay on the grass, her eyes closed. I was half sitting, propped up on my elbows on the cool grass.

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said as I looked above into the sky. Clouds were starting to form around the golden sun.

"What's the bonfire about anyway?" I asked. I remembered Jacob briefly mentioning it last night, but in the wave of emotions I hadn't bothered to ask him about it. I had also already forgot about it.

"It's just a thing we do here on the reservation from time to time," she spoke, still not opening her eyes, she smiled contently. "It's just a time where a lot of us come together to hang out, eat, tell stories and have fun." She sat up now as the sun disappeared and looked at me.

"And since you're new here, and we're hoping you will stay with us for some time," she smirked, "We figured it'll be a nice time to organize one."

I thought about how she said that a lot of them came together, and had figured if Paul was going to be there. A part of me had been hoping for the answer to my question to be no, but at the same time, a part of me - and I was not sure how big of a part - hoped it would be yes. Nervousness built up in the pits of my stomach as I thought about being in center of everyone, the ones I already knew, and ones I was due to meet. I was the outsider after all.

As if reading my mind, Emily spoke up once more. "Don't worry," She said, patting my shoulder as she got up from the ground. "Everyone will love you."

I got up as well, following Emily into the kitchen, where Jacob and Jared were sitting. "You two are here again," I said jokingly annoyed.

"Can't get rid of us that easy, this is our second home after all." Jared said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at him playfully.

"More like your only home." Emily scoffed and giggled, as she went over to the kitchen and took out the necessary ingredients for baking she had bought yesterday on her grocery trip. I followed and waited for her to let me know what she needed help with. I loved being around Emily. In the few days I had been there, she had really grown on me. It felt like she was the sister I never had, but definitely needed.

As we were working away, Sam had come back from his daily errands. He was often out of the house, coming back for lunch, going out again and then back again in the evenings. I had asked Emily about that, when we had our casual conversations, and she had said that it had to do with some reservation things. Sam had helped the elders of the community, as well as the young ones. Overall he was a nice man. He had found it funny how often I thanked him and Emily for letting me stay with them.

Sam walked over to Emily, planting kisses on her forehead, and down the scars on her cheek. They looked happy, just like my parents had been on the picture that I now kept on my dresser, one of the only pictures I had saved of them. My mum had destroyed everything else in one of her crazy episodes. I weakly smiled as I cut out the pieces of dough for the pasties. Love had never really been a part of my childhood, for the part I remember at least. I had lost hope in it. I didn't believe it exists. And so it had made me feel uncomfortable to see that what I had told myself for most of my life had been a lie.

Sam walked over to the table and sat down next to Jacob. They shot each other a look and Sam nodded.

"You're coming tonight, right Ariah?" Sam asked as he looked up at me and Emily working away. "To the bonfire." He added when I hadn't answered. I nodded. "Jacob invited me yesterday, yeah." I said, looking over at Jacob, who smiled widely at me. "You didn't seem like you would come after what happened yesterday." He said, making Jared laugh.

"Why? What happened yesterday?" Emily asked as she rolled up the dough. I blushed.

"Ariah here pissed Paul off when we came by here yesterday morning," Jared smirked. "Nothing new." He added. I looked back up to be met with Sam's gaze. He had a knowing look on his face, I had guessed that Paul was always like that. But Sam's eyes didn't quite read what I had thought he had meant.

We spent the majority of the day working away in the kitchen with Emily. The boys had left at some point, to get the fire wood and everything sorted for the bonfire. It was going to be held at Jacob's backyard.

Jacob had also politely come to pick me and Emily up and helped get our things to his place. He seemed eager to drive his car whenever he could. Pure happiness radiating from his young, handsome face. I had jokingly mocked him about being in love with his car, and telling him that they write documentaries about people like him and he should apply. "I like you, Ariah, you're funny." He had said.

When we arrived at Jacobs place, light could be seen emitting from behind the small red house. The nervousness had kicked in again, as I stepped out of the car. The smell of bonfire was in the crisp evening air - there had been something so soothing in the scent. I cursed myself for only wearing a hoodie and not bringing a coat. I was eager to get some warmth by the fire.

Walking up behind the house, people were gathered around the small fire. Some were standing around in the garden chattering between themselves. Low music could be heard playing from a small stereo, stacked up on the small stairs leading into Jake's house. My eyes scanned over the people.

And there he was. Laying on the ground next to the fire, his arms under his head, laughing along with something Jared had said. Emily had walked over to Sam, kissing him softly on his lips and handing him the food to put away on the small garden table, alongside with the beverages and snacks. My eyes were still fixated on Paul, though. I had hoped I wouldn't have to see him, but at the same time, the butterflies were back at the sight of him there, so carefree, laughing - a way I had not seen him before. All I wished was to stay invisible. Yet something deep inside of me wanted nothing more to be close to him.

"Come on Ariah, we don't bite." Jacob said as he stood next to me, smiling. He looked over to where my eyes were looking at, chuckling loudly. "Well, I guess I can't speak for everyone in that case." 

a/n: quick question, would anyone want Paul's pov too in some chapters? (there won't be a lot because i mostly like to base my stories from the "main" characters pov) but just asking if anyone would be interested in that and if I should do that?