school of bangtan | bts crackfic

cafeteria food

tae sits down at an empty circular table in the corner of the lunch room. after getting himself situated, he begins to rummage through his lunch box.

"now where did i put that sandwich...?" he manages to pull out a juice box. he shakes his head and puts the box down and continues to look for his sandwich.

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"let's sit next to tae! he's all alone in the corner." jhope says to the rest of the boys at the lunch table.

"why? he looks like he's having fun." yoongi gestures his head toward tae, rapping along to cypher part 3 and still looking for his poor sandwich.

"i'll go, hoseok." namjoon smiles. they both get up and head over to tae's table.

jungkook walks over to the table suspiciously.

"you okay, bro?" jimin asks.

"yea, yea...i found this in math class." he opens the jacket of his uniform and reveals a sub sandwich, concealed in plastic wrap.

"dude that looks hella gas." yoongi smiles, licking his lips, and rubbing his hands together.

"are you sure you found it and didn't steal it?" seokjin asks.

"i found it in tae's lunch box."

"jungkook, honey, that's stealing." seokjin rolls his eyes and snatches the sandwich from jungkooks grip. jungkook pouts and reaches for the sandwich. seokjin holds it above his head, restricting the distance between jungkook and the beautiful bliss of the ham and cheese sub, stuffed with lettuce, tomato, onions, and pickles.

yoongi grabs the sandwich from jins raised arm.

"hey!"

"it's mine now."

"you have a whole tray of food right there." jimins says, pointing at his, never been touched, tray.

"that's cafeteria food. it's shit." yoongi replies with a roll of the eyes.

"but it's still food." jimin replies.

"show me." yoongi mocks. jimin grabs yoongis spork and scoops the brownish-greenish slop on his tray and shoves the spoonful in his mouth.

"oh man holy shit!" jungkook yells from his side.

"gross." seokjin whispers under his breath.

jimin gags, slop still in mouth, and forces a smile to grow on his face.

"your smile says it's great, but your eyes say 'geu soneul naemireojwo save me save me'" yoongi laughs. seokjins windshield wiper laugh joins in a couple seconds later. jimin spits the slop back onto the tray, where it belongs. he takes a sip of the chocolate milk, gargles it, and spits it back into the carton.

"my point is," he wipes the leftover residue off his cheek. "that it's tae's." he gags again.

"exactly." seokjin chimes in, wiping tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

"but i found i-"

"stole it"

"stole it." jungkook looks down, defeated.

"now give me that sandwich." jimin demands, shooting his hand out for it.

"why don't you get it from me?" yoongi smirks. jimin shoots out of his seat and yoongi sprints away, with a loud squealing sound, smile plastered onto his face. they run around cafeteria for a couple minutes

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"why are those two, playing tag at this time?" jhope asks.

"i don't think they're playing tag." namjoon replies.

"thATS MY SANDWICH!!!" tae yells and points at yoongi. the cafeteria room goes silent and yoongi and jimins game of tag takes a halt.

"why you little pabo!" anger rushes up to tae's little mochi cheeks and they burn a bright red. he sprints over to yoongi and tackles him to the ground. the sandwich flies out of his hands. tae blows the hair out of his eyes, props himself up and watches the airborne sandwich in awe.
it falls onto another lunch table filled with another group of boys.

"bet! free food!" baekhyun yells out, grabbing the sandwich.

"now now, it belongs to taehyung-" d.o responds but is quickly interrupted be kai.

"i called dibs!"

"what?" chanyeol chimes in.

"i saw it first!" kai whines. "suho say something!"

"i mean finders keepers..."

"it's my sandwich!!" tae yells from the ground on top of an unconscious yoongi.

"makers fakers!" kai yells.

"screw you!"

"nail you!" the exo table laughs at baekhyun's tool related joke.

"just give it back, man. we don't want any trouble here." namjoon steps in.

"oh yeah?" kai challenges.

"yeah."

"what are you gonna do about it?"

"this." namjoon charges for kai, uppercutting him in his stomach.

"OOF!!"

"fight! fight! fight! fight!" the iKON table chants.

"get him! get him!" the MONSTA X table yells out.

"look at kai's muscles!" the TWICE table swoons.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HYUNG!" jungkook yells and tackles kai to the ground. jimins mouth hangs open and he rushes to part the fight, only making it worse.

seokjin snatches the tray of spit up slop, and struts over to the fight. he taps kai on the shoulder and kai responds, turning around and facing him. he smacks the tray in his face. it slides down slowly and eventually hits the ground. the room goes silent.

hoseok giggles in the background. and tae's gasp was louder than the commotion in the lunch room.

"don't you ever touch my husband again."