school of bangtan | bts crackfic

the party

if you were wondering, today is the most fear and stress inducing day in the universe. 

it's min yoongi's birthday.

the boys minus yoongi, walk into Target, with a very nervous look on their faces. 

"what are we gonna get yoongi this year?" namjoon asks. 

"last time, i got him a gift card to starbucks," jimin says.

"that's a good ide-" 

"BUT, he used all the money on it to buy hoseok espresso shots, and made him super hyper." 

"oh no." namjoon stops

"i'm not done yet. he then used the empty gift card, carved it into a knife, and chased jungkook with it." jimin finished

"that was the most scariest thing that has ever happened to me..." jungkook shivers. 

"anyway, let's get him something that he CAN'T use as a weapon." seokjin corrects. 

"what about toilet paper?" tae suggests. everyone stares at him with the"what the fuck" look. everyone except hoseok of course, nodding in agreement. 

"no way." jimin shakes his head.

"what about child-proof scissors?" namjoon asks. 

"namjoon. it's still scissors." jungkook pats his head, disappointingly. 

"then what?" hoseok asks. 

"i have an idea." seokjin smirks. 

''''''''''''

"happy birthday, yoongles!" hoseok yells out in the backyard, decorated with lights with the agustd mixtape playing in the background of his party. seokjin smiles brightly and presents a balloon and a gift. 

"why does the balloon say 'it's a girl'?" yoongi asks.

"they were out of the 'it's a boy' balloons." jungkook whispers. 

"why didn't you just get the balloon that said 'happy birthday'?" 

"oh...that's a good idea. let's do that next year." tae hits seokjin's arm. 

"what the fu-"

"open your gift!" jimin yells happily. yoongi looks at him, down at the gift, and back up to jimin. 

"no thanks."

"come on! you'll love it!" yoongi sighs and mumbles curse words under his breath, slowly taking apart the wrapping paper that also said, "it's a girl!".

it was a damn box.

"what is this?" 

"yoongi, darling, it's in the box." seokjin says. 

"oh." he pulls out a pocketknife. 

"WHOA WHOA WHOAAOAAO!" jungkook yells and the boys jump back from yoongi. 

"it's for the box, idiot." yoongi rolls his eyes. 

"oh," he chuckles. "you kinda triggered some PTSD there." 

yoongi stabs the box, boys jumping to the sound. he opens the box and there it was. 

"you like it?" hoseok smiles.

it was a pink ball, and it read "princess" with disney princesses surrounding the label. 

jimin smiles brightly. yonngi's face was straight. 

"so you gon bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?"

"happy birthday?" 

yoongi grabs a glass on the table beside him and smashes it on the side of jimin's face. 

"bitch."

"i've got the receipt..."  tae pulls the paper out of his pocket, just in time for yoongi to snatch it from his hand. he pulls out a lighter and sets the paper on fire. 

"you just burned-" 

"i know what i did. you're next, dipshit." 

a/n: i understand i decided to make the "dodge ball" chapter only one part, because i wasn't really feeling it anymore and i'm also running out of ideas :')

so if any of you have ideas please comment them because i'm in desperate need lmaooo

also i'm still in need of questions for the rest of the boys for the interview! so please ask them! 

love you all, and thanks for reading and voting! (if you haven't, click that lil star :))