school of bangtan | bts crackfic

field trip pt.2

"where the fuck is tae?" 

"he was just here a second ago..."

"no shit, jimin." yoongi rolls his eyes. 

"i'm sure he'll find his way." jhope smiles. 

"hoseok, darling, it's taehyung. he doesn't even know how to read a book without asking me how to pronounce a big word." jin answers, babying hoseok. 

"so what he's saying is that the fucker has short term memory loss." 

"what? no."

"shut up. i'm THE min yoongi. i'm always right." 

"we need to find him." namjoon says, changing the subject.

"i guess so." jungkook shrugs. 

"what do you mean, 'i guess so'?! WE ARE SO!" jin slaps his shoulder. jungkook rubs his arm quickly.

"namjoon, i'm trusting you to actually act like a leader," jin holds onto his shoulder.

"ooooo shots fired, bitch." yoongi laughs. 

"so you're saying i don't act like a leader at all?" namjoon says, offended. 

"namjoon, let's not do this now. the kids are watching." 

"okay. okay." he holds his hands up in surrender. 

"namjoon, i need you to team up with jungkook and jimin. i'll be with yoongi and hoseok. we'll search for tae and at 11:30 on the dOT," he points at namjoon seriously. "we meet back up at this nude statue. capeesh?" 

"ay ay captin." jungkook says sarcastically. jin struts over to him and grips the collar of his uniform.

"caPEESH??" he says, gritting his teeth.

"damn, okay, mom." 

"perfect!" he let's go of jungkook and oddly smiles. "let's go." 

''''''''''''

"now where would that idiotic puppy be?" yoongi strokes his non-existent beard.

"let's check the bathroom!" jhope suggests. 

"okay." jin agrees and they walk into the boys bathroom. once the three boys walk into the bathroom, tae barges out of the girls bathroom in a daze. 

"whERE ARE YOU?!?" 

''''''''''''''

"okay first things first-" namjoon starts.

"i'm the realest." jimin raps. 

"stop." namjoon says, disgusted. 

"drop this and let the whole world feel it." 

"okay seriously." 

"and i'm still in the murder business." 

"i can hold ya down like i'm givin' lessons of physics," jungkook chimes in. 

"this is why you're NOT on the rap line."

"rude." jungkook whispers.

"pay attention to thE MISSION." namjoon snaps.

"okay, what was it again?" jimin asks. 

"this is gonna be a long damn day." 

''''''''''''''''

tae walks around the museum like a lost a puppy, but each piece of art stood out to him, distracting him. he found a piece by devinci and took in all of it's glories.

"hi. what's your name?" a girl besides him asks. 

"uh- leonardo." 

"really?"

"devin ki." 

"i think you pronounced that wrong." 

"dye vin chi? i'm sorry, jin would help me out with this one but i'm lost." he shrugs.

"um- i'll ask another question." the girl says, obviously uncomfortable. "what's your favorite food?" 

"thank you." tae smiles kindly and walks away. 

"weirdo..."

''''''''''''''''

jin, hoseok, and yoongi were making their way up to the nude statue until, 

"i want gum." 

"not now yoongi." jin disciplines.

"here!" jhope hands him a quarter. "there's a gumball machine right over there!" 

"shit." jin curses. yoongi runs over to the gumball machine and jhope follows him. they start fidgeting around with the machine. 

jin looks around the museum in search for tae and finds a boy in their uniform skipping around the halls. 

"found you, ya little fucker." jin smirks and starts for him. he sprints toward him.

"FOUND YA!" he yells and turns the boy around. it was jimin.

"what the hell?" 

"jimin?" 

"FUCK! SHIT! SHIT! HOLY DAMN DICKERY DOCK COCK A DOODLE BITCH!" a scream from yoongi rings through the halls. jin and jimin turn around to find hoseok pulling yoongi's body from the machine, with his index finger stuck inside the enterance. 

"what's going on here?" namjoon and jungkook quickly sprint over to the scene. hoseok screams hysterically while pulling yoongi by the legs with all his might. 

"IT HURTS DAMMIT!" yoongi screams. 

"oh my god yoongi! i hope you're okay!" a voice from uptop screams. everyone turns around and looks up. there, they found a stranded tae, sitting on top of the giant nude statue's head, eating popcorn. 

"how the literal FUCK did you get up there?" yoongi yells from the machine. 

"to be honest, i don't know!" tae yells back. 

"were you hurt, honey?!" jin yells up, concerned.

"no! all i remember was the smell of the soap from the girls bathroom." tae yells down and smiles. 

"what did i tell ya? short term memory loss." yoongi points to his head with his free hand. 

"shut up."