You Make Me Feel Alive , Again .

Chapter Twenty Three : Blacked Out .

Gumball's Point of View

It's been a few days since Marshall came to visit , and I think we've all enjoy it ; especially Ariel . She has been spending a lot of time with him , which is basically what we wanted . Sometimes , they even go out alone and spend some quality father-daughter time ; we've noticed that whenever they come back , they're always laughing , making jokes or doing anything that involves being happy with each other .

Ariel is beyond happy to have Marshall around . With Marshall being around so much , to take care of Ariel ; Fionna and I have had a lot of time for ourselves and each other . I thought I would feel some chemistry between Marshall and Fionna , but I didn't ; I know Marshall still loves her very much but I don't know if she feels the same way ; she's been acting distant towards both him and I .. and it does worry me .

Marshall did come over today , and I just told him to take Ariel out for ice cream ; not because I didn't want them around , it's just .. it's been awhile since I've had a long conversation with Ariel about what's been going on , how we feel , etc .. Even though we may not be together , we're basically a family ; we dress in front of each other , sleep on the same bed , do couple things , etc . We're still human , and we still need time to relax and talk without anyone distracting us or anything like that . I just hope this goes well ..

" Fionna ? " I walk from the living room , to the hallway and into our bedroom trying to find her . I sigh as I find her reading a book on our bed , not even paying attention to the fact that I'm here . I can defintely tell that she hasn't been herself lately , and that makes me feel bad . Fionna always drowns herself in books whenever she wants a little break from the real world , but it sucks that she can't talk to me about it .. " Can we talk ? " I shyly sit on the foot of the bed , waiting for her response . It takes her a couple of seconds to notice me , she sighs and closes her book ; she knows exactly why I'm here , that's why she's dreading it .

" What is it , Gumball ? " She crosses her arms and looks the other way , like a little spoiled brat whenever they don't get what they want . It does annoy me when she acts like this , she acts like everything's wrong when it's not . Yes , it may be a tough situation but it's not the end of the world . I am angry , it does piss me off when she acts this way ; I'm really trying to keep all of these feelings inside but it's not easy .

" Can you fucking drop the attitute , please ? " I give her one of my death-stares that she hates so much . I hardly ever fight with her , I've been so understanding and patient with her but even people like me get tired , too . I've always been a really nice and kind person towards everyone , but I can reach my limit , too . She rolls her eyes at me , ruining my mood even more . Keep in mind , I came here with a good and calm attitude , she's the one that's really testing me right now . She stays quiet , waiting for me to speak . " What's your problem , Fionna ? "

" I don't have a problem . You're the one that came in here , being overdramatic " She opens her book to read , and that's when I reach my limit . I really want to scream at her , but I'm not ; instead , I walk away . I walk out of that room and out of the castle . I can't be in there right now , I will literally trash the entire place . I was really trying to help her , but she just pushed me away . I'm done taking shit from everyone , I'm tired of people taking advantage of my kindess .

" Gumball , wait-- " I turn around as I start to leave and see Fionna , in the doorway of the castle . The moonlight reflects on her face , showing the tears rolling down her face . I drop to my knees as I see her start crying . I've been strong the entire time I've been with her , ever since Marshall left her ; I've been the one to comfort her , the one who has been there for her .. She's always been the one that breakdowns , cries , etc .. but what about me ? I still feel pain , I still hurt for both Ariel and Fionna .. but nobody seems to care about how I feel . " Gumball ! " She screams as she runs to my side , putting her hands on my shoulders and shaking me up some . I can feel my heart breaking all over again , I was just too busy with life to notice it . There are tears running down my face but I'm too tired to even notice them . " Gumball ! Gumball , please ! I'm sorry-- please , just say something ! " I can't seem to hear her words well , they all just sound like muffled sounds . Am I having an anxiety attack or something ?

I've never felt this way before . It's like everything is closing up on me , I feel like I'm inside a little tiny box and can't get out ; I'm hyperventilating , all I can see is blurry figures , and everything is moving around me ..

Maybe , I'm just too tired or overworked . I've been so busy with my usual duties ; going to my usual meetings , solving problems between kingdoms , etc .. it feels like I never stop working . And there's also my personal life , all of this stress from Fionna and Marshall is affecting me , too . Seeing both Marshall and Fionna breakdown in front of me , and me not being able to help them is traumatizing .

Maybe , I should just focus on myself more than others .. I don't want to change , I like the way I am but look at me ! I'm a goddamn mess , and I don't want anyone to get hurt ; I don't even know if Marshall and Ariel are back , everything around me is blurry .

I feel like I'm dying .. and , I don't even know if anyone can help me this time ..