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***
I didn't appreciate anything I had until I lost all of it.
Even myself.
Now here I was, trying to build something out of the broken pieces that were left in the end. Was it going to turn out well? Probably not, but it was the only way that I knew how to live.
That late afternoon, Miyeong and I were being sociable for a change. It was still the beginning of freshmen year, the kids were trying to get to know each other better and we were invited to go out to eat and drink with the other students. The business, art and history department all piled up in a crowded restaurant and occupied the seats on some long tables. There was Baekhyun, completely surrounded by boys and girls that wanted to be friends with him, Junmyeon and his girlfriend Eungi and even Dokyung. The last one still didn't know how to deal with my sudden reappearance and she decided to start her freshman year by spreading all kinds of rumours about me, but I didn't particularly care. She was making passive aggressive comments even then, but I happily ignored her and continued eating grilled meat and drinking soju with Miyeong.
I could stomach a lot of alcohol, but we were getting a little drunk at that point and some just as buzzed students were chuckling at our antics.
'' You are the chaperone tonight. ''
'' No, you are the chaperone tonight. ''
'' I'm pretty sure I was the one that dragged your drunk ass home the last time. ''
'' Yes, that was on Monday, but I had to do the same thing for you on Wednesday. ''
'' Stop drinking! ''
'' No, you stop drinking! ''
I shook my head in disapproval at Miyeong and started chatting with the girl that was sitting next to me. On any other occasion, I wouldn't care to make friends, but I was quite friendly after a few drinks. She was telling me about how she couldn't even imagine sharing her apartment with someone else like me and I didn't bother correcting her, because I knew that even if Miyeong and I lived in two separate places, if you combined them, they were still surely smaller than her entire home. She thoughtfully frowned and said: '' I'm a bit of a neat freak, so it's tough for me even when my boyfriend comes to visit! How do you manage that, since you have a roommate? ''
I giggled and drunkenly shook my head. '' Oh no, I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had one in a very long time. She is the one that's obsessed with dating. ''
I tugged on Miyeong's sleeve, the two of us grinned at each other and downed another shot. I ended up getting a bit too drunk, so I had to get up and go outside for some fresh air. Miyeong mumbled something about how she'll go check if I was okay if I won't return in half an hour and I stumbled away from our table. It was already dark outside and the fresh evening air felt really nice on my skin. I decided to take a walk and ended up laying down on a bench in a small park that was just around the corner.
